Called Dr. Mahajan, my oncologist, and told him we needed to talk about the distressing call I had received from Dr. Sharts the previous day. Arrived at his office around 9:30 Friday morning. Austin, his nurse, greeted us, and I teared up as soon as she spoke and asked me how I was doing. She is such a sweet young lady, and always so kind and caring. You don't want to know what my blood pressure was when she took it. Scared me too!
When Dr. Mahajan came in the examining room, thankfully, I kept my composure and we discussed the situation. We can't stop here, I must have options, second opinions, I won't give up. Dr. Mahajan has a wonderful bedside manner and he was very concerned about all I had been through the past 24 hours. "I want you to look at this as a positive," he said. "Maybe not having surgery here was best. We have to focus on getting the best care for you."
He was right. I could have gone through the projected 10 hr. surgery and had everything I was warned about happen and still be left with cancerous cells that were not removed. And without them ALL being gone, we would be no better off than I am right now. Actually, much worse. Where this tumor is located on my spine and nerves, it was very possible, I could lose my legs, lose use of my legs, have limited use....and the list goes on. So maybe I should say thank you Dr. Sharts for being so cautious and bowing out. Dr. Mahajan assured me there were other options and he was going to contact his cohorts at Duke to discuss them, so I left expecting a call from him before the end of the day.
Next, we moved to Dr. Brillant's (gastro-colo-rectal surgeon) office, one hall over from Dr. Mahajan. Dr. Brillant was running behind due to emergencies and scheduling problems, so we sat waiting till after 1 o'clock, but not having an appointment and being worked in, it was somewhat expected. Dr. Brillant was clearly concerned about all I was being subjected to physically and emotionally. After discussing our situation at length with him, he asked were we willing to travel? I told him I had done everything I had been asked to do and traveling was not a problem. Dr. Brillant trained at the Mayo Clinic and he said he was going to contact his colleagues there and see if they would take my case. He left the room and was back in a few minutes. A phone call had been made and they would be back in touch. It had been a long day already for us, so he told us to get lunch, rest a bit and he would call as soon as "his people talked to their people". We left his office with a glimmer of hope.
Dr. Brillant called not long after I arrived home. He had talked with the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. and Dr. Heidi Nelson had agreed to accepted me as a patient. My info was being sent to them and his nurse will be in touch with me on Monday for travel dates.
Shortly afterwards, Dr. Mahajan called. He had contacted Duke and sent my info. Surgery looked like it could be a possibility. I told him about the contacts with the Mayo Clinic and he said he would coordinate with Dr. Brillant and discuss the best options for me.
A long and tiring day, but at least it was a day that offered a glimmer of hope. Yesterday, hope seemed to be just out of my reach. So now again, we wait.
As Dr. Brillant said, "Just because it can't be done in Greenville, doesn't mean it's not possible. But if the Mayo Clinic says no....then it can't be done." With that said, if we get turned down for surgery, then we will just have to get turned down by the very best.
Looks like this wagon may be headed north.....head 'em up and move 'em out boys! Put on the snow tires.
PCQ
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday
Received a call from Dr. Sharts, my neurosurgeon, Thursday afternoon. Never good when you get a call from your doctor. After reviewing the MRI, CT and PET scans, he had decided he did not feel comfortable doing the surgery. Apparently, the nasty little cancer had inched up my spine just enough to cause him to pause and rethink his position.
Needless to say, I was devastated. What I was hearing....we can't save you, this surgery can't be done. Prepare.
I asked him, "What do I do now?" "Get in touch with Dr. Brillant and Dr. Mahajan," he said. I hung up the phone and stared at my birds outside. They were jumping around on the feeder, the sun shining especially bright on a male cardinal feeding on the sunflower seeds. What do I do now? I felt so alone and hopeless. I was right back where I started.
Remarkably, I kept my composure and called John. He immediately came home and we called our preacher. Martin was at the parsonage, so John and I went right over, hugged, shed tears, and talked with him about what we were experiencing. Martin is a kind man, with a wonderful gift of making you feel better, feel loved, no matter how intimidating your circumstances may be and he has been a good, loving shoulder during this whole process. We held hands and prayed together for healing, however that healing may come. With the sun shining through the tall oaks, we left, still worried, but with comforted hearts.
When we arrived home, our friend George, had delivered food for dinner. Chicken tetrazzini, homemade by his wife, Willa, a wonderful cook and in her past life a teacher. She taught what us old people used to called Home Ec., so you know it was 'fine vittles'. Another one of those great timing dinners. I was too tired to think about preparing food and from heaven it appeared. Thank you George and Willa, you had no idea what was going on in our life when you shared your blessings with us.
After dinner, John and I reviewed our options. We are not people that give up easily. Many tears and hugs later, exhausted, I fell asleep in John's arms.
My wagon's still moving, just not sure what direction right now.
PCQ
Needless to say, I was devastated. What I was hearing....we can't save you, this surgery can't be done. Prepare.
I asked him, "What do I do now?" "Get in touch with Dr. Brillant and Dr. Mahajan," he said. I hung up the phone and stared at my birds outside. They were jumping around on the feeder, the sun shining especially bright on a male cardinal feeding on the sunflower seeds. What do I do now? I felt so alone and hopeless. I was right back where I started.
Remarkably, I kept my composure and called John. He immediately came home and we called our preacher. Martin was at the parsonage, so John and I went right over, hugged, shed tears, and talked with him about what we were experiencing. Martin is a kind man, with a wonderful gift of making you feel better, feel loved, no matter how intimidating your circumstances may be and he has been a good, loving shoulder during this whole process. We held hands and prayed together for healing, however that healing may come. With the sun shining through the tall oaks, we left, still worried, but with comforted hearts.
When we arrived home, our friend George, had delivered food for dinner. Chicken tetrazzini, homemade by his wife, Willa, a wonderful cook and in her past life a teacher. She taught what us old people used to called Home Ec., so you know it was 'fine vittles'. Another one of those great timing dinners. I was too tired to think about preparing food and from heaven it appeared. Thank you George and Willa, you had no idea what was going on in our life when you shared your blessings with us.
After dinner, John and I reviewed our options. We are not people that give up easily. Many tears and hugs later, exhausted, I fell asleep in John's arms.
My wagon's still moving, just not sure what direction right now.
PCQ
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Cooking Peanuts - Really Good Peanuts!
Last weekend, we visited my party in a box friend, Kay and her husband, Bill. One of the main things John wanted to do while he was with them other than have fun.... was get Kay's recipe for making fried peanuts. She had sent a jar full home with us last time we saw her and they were addictive. So John, my peanut loving boy, couldn't wait to learn how she does it.
Here Kay shows him the process. Raw freshly hulled Greene County peanuts were used. She put vegetable oil in a cast iron pan and cooked them over medium high gas heat. When they get the "right" color, she takes them up and puts them on paper towels and salts them well, and allows them to cool. Afterwards, she puts them in jars to give to friends.
Wow, they were so good. Of course, I couldn't eat more than just a few due to the radiation treatments. But they were so fine. Try them at home! Or if you are lucky, a friend will give you a jar full!
PCQ
Wow, they were so good. Of course, I couldn't eat more than just a few due to the radiation treatments. But they were so fine. Try them at home! Or if you are lucky, a friend will give you a jar full!
PCQ
Perfect Timing
Monday was a very stressful day as I related earlier on the blog. What I didn't finish telling about that day, was the wonderful food that was delivered for dinner by Kim and Sheila.
They arrived promptly at 6 with smiles, flowers, and enough food for an army! You know what they say, "Life's short, eat dessert first." So John did exactly that with the lemon pie....still warm.
It was a wonderful dinner, and just what I needed after a long and stressful day. Homemade vegetable soup, homemade sourdough bread, homemade pimento cheese, homemade lemon pie, homemade peach and mixed fruit cobbler....do you see a pattern here. HOMEMADE! Our wonderful visit with friends, beautiful potted plant, and did I say it was all delicious. Just what I needed to distract me from the thoughts of the day and warm me up with love.
Thank you again Kim and Sheila. It was a perfect meal for a weary day!
PCQ
They arrived promptly at 6 with smiles, flowers, and enough food for an army! You know what they say, "Life's short, eat dessert first." So John did exactly that with the lemon pie....still warm.
Homemade bread with specially made butter!
It was a wonderful dinner, and just what I needed after a long and stressful day. Homemade vegetable soup, homemade sourdough bread, homemade pimento cheese, homemade lemon pie, homemade peach and mixed fruit cobbler....do you see a pattern here. HOMEMADE! Our wonderful visit with friends, beautiful potted plant, and did I say it was all delicious. Just what I needed to distract me from the thoughts of the day and warm me up with love.
Thank you again Kim and Sheila. It was a perfect meal for a weary day!
PCQ
Another Long Day
Wednesday was another long day. Met with Dr. Brillant, my colon surgeon, to go over final arrangements for the surgery. He told me the results from my MRI and PET scan showed the center of the tumor had been killed by the radiation treatments, but they also showed "activity" around the outside. The activity means there is still growth of the cancer. He said one side had also enlarged. After we discussed the tests, he said he would like to talk with Dr. Sharts again to make sure all was on go for the surgery. I still need to get papers signed and tests done at the hospital but he told me to wait till he spoke with Dr. Sharts. When he told me to wait, it gave me a very uneasy feeling and I asked him if this was good or bad. "It is what it is," he said. I had just recently read that statement in an online meditation site that helps people deal with health concerns, so it caused me to pause and take a deep breath.
My next appointment for that day was with Dr. Zeri, the reconstructive surgeon. He will try to fix whatever the others leave in disarray. He is very good at what he does and seemed to think all would be okay.
After I left his office, I got a call from Dr. Sharts' office. He wanted me to get a CT scan done right away so he could check the new growth. So off I go and sit and wait. CT scans are rather simple, just have to be stuck and poked again. They did two scans of my abdomen, and then injected a tracer and then did two more passes. The cells that are active cancer cells will bind with the injected solution and "light up like a Christmas tree".
All of this was really taxing me emotionally and physically. Didn't get any lunch because I had to hurry over for the CT scan. But that was okay, because I had an evening dinner engagement with my P.O.E.T.S. Investment Group at Annie's house. It was actually my turn to host, but given my situation, Annie and Karen volunteered. And what a wonderful meal and fun time we had. Don't know what I would do without this fine group of women. They lift me up and make me feel strong.
We put on our "POWER UP" rings we got several years ago in Ocracoke (more on that in a previous blog, so look through the archives) and did a POWER UP chant.
Pulling my wagon seems easier when I been around such vivacious, warm and loving friends.
POWER UP!
PCQ
My next appointment for that day was with Dr. Zeri, the reconstructive surgeon. He will try to fix whatever the others leave in disarray. He is very good at what he does and seemed to think all would be okay.
After I left his office, I got a call from Dr. Sharts' office. He wanted me to get a CT scan done right away so he could check the new growth. So off I go and sit and wait. CT scans are rather simple, just have to be stuck and poked again. They did two scans of my abdomen, and then injected a tracer and then did two more passes. The cells that are active cancer cells will bind with the injected solution and "light up like a Christmas tree".
All of this was really taxing me emotionally and physically. Didn't get any lunch because I had to hurry over for the CT scan. But that was okay, because I had an evening dinner engagement with my P.O.E.T.S. Investment Group at Annie's house. It was actually my turn to host, but given my situation, Annie and Karen volunteered. And what a wonderful meal and fun time we had. Don't know what I would do without this fine group of women. They lift me up and make me feel strong.
We put on our "POWER UP" rings we got several years ago in Ocracoke (more on that in a previous blog, so look through the archives) and did a POWER UP chant.
Pulling my wagon seems easier when I been around such vivacious, warm and loving friends.
POWER UP!
PCQ
Monday, February 15, 2010
Stressful Day
My day started early with an MRI. I needed this to be used in conjunction with the PET scan that was done a few weeks ago. It is my understanding, the doctors can see some things on the PET scan and other things on the MRI. The "things" are my parts and very important in the process.
Here's a photo of the SIEMENS MRI machine. Luckily, I could go in feet first so part of my head was right near the opening you see in the picture. If you want to know why that is important, look in the archives on the right and find the one about the St. Louis Gateway Arch. Anyway, with a little smooth jazz playing in the earphones, a blindfold over my eyes and a little medication, being in that little tube wasn't so bad today. Not that I am a wimp, just prefer the great outdoors!
Amazing how you don't forget the sounds you hear when you are in a stressed situation. Think our bodies give off adrenaline that helps us remember stuff that we think may be harmful. All the thumps, grinds, and bumping of the MRI came right back to me. It's been six months since I had the first one and once it started it seemed like yesterday.
Anyway, made it through the MRI, with contrast injections too. Also had blood work done for the surgery. So I have several new poke holes.
Afterwards, had an appointment with Dr. Sharts, my neurosurgeon. Won't go into all he said, but very proud of myself for sitting there and listening without saying, "YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT?!!!"
Here's a mock spine he used to demonstrate. Dr. Sharts is showing where he will saw off the base of my spine to "hopefully" remove the cancerous growth. Now, if that's all he had to do....we could stop here, but, it's not....so more to come later.
My brain went into shock at this point. Even though I knew all of this was going to happen, just hearing it AGAIN dusted it off and put it in the front of my wagon so I must look at it, right square in the eyes!
Can't worry but so much about all of this or I will be paralyzed with fear, so, I will be brave and remember the quote (not sure who said it), "A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man dies but once."
When I got home, weak and weary, I had another band of angels bring food. Given all that had happened today, it made dinner taste ever so much sweeter!
The countdown begins.
PCQ
Here's a photo of the SIEMENS MRI machine. Luckily, I could go in feet first so part of my head was right near the opening you see in the picture. If you want to know why that is important, look in the archives on the right and find the one about the St. Louis Gateway Arch. Anyway, with a little smooth jazz playing in the earphones, a blindfold over my eyes and a little medication, being in that little tube wasn't so bad today. Not that I am a wimp, just prefer the great outdoors!
Amazing how you don't forget the sounds you hear when you are in a stressed situation. Think our bodies give off adrenaline that helps us remember stuff that we think may be harmful. All the thumps, grinds, and bumping of the MRI came right back to me. It's been six months since I had the first one and once it started it seemed like yesterday.
Anyway, made it through the MRI, with contrast injections too. Also had blood work done for the surgery. So I have several new poke holes.
Afterwards, had an appointment with Dr. Sharts, my neurosurgeon. Won't go into all he said, but very proud of myself for sitting there and listening without saying, "YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT?!!!"
Here's a mock spine he used to demonstrate. Dr. Sharts is showing where he will saw off the base of my spine to "hopefully" remove the cancerous growth. Now, if that's all he had to do....we could stop here, but, it's not....so more to come later.
My brain went into shock at this point. Even though I knew all of this was going to happen, just hearing it AGAIN dusted it off and put it in the front of my wagon so I must look at it, right square in the eyes!
Can't worry but so much about all of this or I will be paralyzed with fear, so, I will be brave and remember the quote (not sure who said it), "A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man dies but once."
When I got home, weak and weary, I had another band of angels bring food. Given all that had happened today, it made dinner taste ever so much sweeter!
The countdown begins.
PCQ
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Busy Week
Busy week coming up. Wagon gonna get pulled and pushed all around!
Have an MRI tomorrow at 10:45, so no food after midnight, Sunday. Then off to an appointment with Dr. Sharts, my neurosurgeon, and a very important person in this procedure. Next, I go to Dr. Reeves, the urologist who will be on standby and available if needed during the operation.
Wednesday, Dr. Brillant, gastro and lead surgeon, and Dr. Zeri, reconstructive surgeon.
Wednesday, Dr. Brillant, gastro and lead surgeon, and Dr. Zeri, reconstructive surgeon.
I haven't gotten any results from the PET scan I had a while back. Decided not to call and check on it, "No news is good news." When you are in this type of situation, you realize, most of the time, bad news comes fast enough. No need to call and get it any sooner. So....I have been living life and trying to have as much fun as I can while I can!
PCQ
Happy Valentine's Day
"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver, the other gold."
We can never have too many friends! Had a busy weekend, making new friends and enjoying the old ones too.
PCQ
Friday, February 12, 2010
Chalaron and Judy
Another band of angels from our church came Wednesday night. Judy and Chalaron swooped in with flowers, a wonderful dinner of pork chops with mushrooms and rice, green beans, sweet potatoes stuffed with pineapple, golden raisins, cinnamon and butter, fruit salad.....and fresh pineapple cake! Is your mouth watering yet? If not, let me add, it was still warm and smelling wonderful.
John and I had a fine visit with them, catching up on their families and life in general. Chalaron and Judy have been long time friends with each other and when Chalaron and her husband sold their restaurant on Hatteras Island and retired, they hopped around a bit but finally landed in Snow Hill to be near family and friends. Don't think Chalaron and Judy have missed one minute of having fun together since they moved here either.
Judy, a retired Director of Exceptional Children, that still finds time to work with and develop young teachers, is a wonderful cook and always does it with a special flair. Chalaron, having owned and run a successful restaurant for many years, can work magic in the kitchen. How lucky we were to have these two fussing over us.
But soon, they were gone, leaving behind a table set with fine food, beautiful flowers and lots of love.
Getting harder to pull my wagon....with all this extra "love" I am carrying around!
PCQ
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Super Bowl Party
Had a wonderful time during the Super Bowl this past weekend. Just had too many places to go, but that is a good problem to have. Since my Steelers weren't playing this year, I really didn't have a favorite team. I'm so old, I still think the Colts belong in Baltimore, but I understand they have moved and Johnny Unitas is no longer the quarterback.
For several years, we have gone to George and Debbie's Super Bowl Party. It is a meat lover's dream. George had meat cooked about every way possible and it was grand. My favorite were the 3 bite shrimp...that means they were so big, it took at least 3 bites to eat them. Yummy.
For several years, we have gone to George and Debbie's Super Bowl Party. It is a meat lover's dream. George had meat cooked about every way possible and it was grand. My favorite were the 3 bite shrimp...that means they were so big, it took at least 3 bites to eat them. Yummy.
As usual, all the girlfriends stayed inside, the men all congregated in the man cave building outside where they cooked and watched the game.
Debbie's girls are grown and far away now. So she pulled out the girls' old Cabbage Patch dolls for Caroline, the granddaughter of my friend Paula. Caroline had a fine time with them, playing school. She brought this doll to me because she was acting up and causing problems with the other dolls. We had to put this baby in Time Out till she could behave properly.
As we were preparing to leave for a party in Walstonburg and another in Snow Hill (I'll talk about these later), I looked around and saw that Caroline had all of us holding a Cabbage Patch doll. Couldn't let that pass without getting a photo. Debbie, holding real baby, Sarah Ruth, is in the middle!
What fun we had. Gracious hosts, wonderful friends, and fine food. Doesn't get much better than that.
WHO DAT?
PCQ
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