Happy Father's Day

It's Father's Day, our first without John.  I didn't think it would be so hard.

When I awoke this morning, I was blessed to be with dear friends and.... to be able to look out my bedroom window and see the sun coming up on the Pamlico River.  The river has given me and my family many, wonderful and warm memories.

So I guess it was fitting that I was there on the first Father's Day without John.  As I looked at the river, it reminded me of all the fun things John did for us and my daddy.  Hours and hours of driving the boat, pulling us from one end of the river to the other on all the water toys, sailing, checking nets and crab pots, you name it, John would make it happen.

Our simple place on the river was a refuge for family and friends, providing a backdrop for precious time with my dad, (he loved to set fish nets), our girls with their "Papa Lee", and so much learning for us all.  Our girls learned how to ski there, how to tell the difference between a she crab and a male....and whether it had eggs, or was ready to shed and become a summer delicacy as a soft shell crab.  We went on shark teeth and lightning bug hunts, could identify the fish we caught, knew where all the osprey nests were and learned the rules of the river.

But as I lay there looking out across the water, my thoughts returned to last year.  Meredith came home for Father's Day, to spend time with her daddy and to cook a wonderful dinner for him.  And what a grand meal it was.

John's lymph node on his neck was swollen and Dr. Barrow had put him on antibiotics.  I remember so well him telling Meredith about it that day. Didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  Little did we know what was to come.  His lymph node swelled the week after we found out the tests and scans showed my tumor was growing... my chemo treatments were not working.  

Coincidence?  

PCQ