I was reading a story recently about a family that was struggling with the death of their son. "He had a 'strong presence' and it feels like he is still here with us," the father said.
The words resonated in my soul. That's how I feel about John....he had a very 'strong presence' then and now, and though I know he is gone, I feel him in everything I do and everywhere I go. Sometimes it even feels like a dream. I'm going to wake up and everything will be be all normal again. Not sure how long this lasts. I know there are stages for grief and everyone progresses through those stages at their own pace. We are all different but sometimes so much alike.
I like to smile, it hides the pain. And I read that smiling tricks your body into "thinking" you are happy, just by using those muscles. I do know it makes other people feel better and that in turn helps me. So, I'll keep smiling and hope it is true. But that "strong presence" may never go away. And I don't know if I want it to.
PCQ
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
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5 comments:
You are an amazing woman and John was an amazing man. Smiling and laughing are wonderful but there is a need, I believe sometimes for the tears and sadness. We are only human and as you said, all different but alike in so many ways. Next time I laugh or smile, I'll think of you and John (just did). Love you. Susan
Your smile is ALWAYS a pleasure for others!! You are just that kind of person!! Love you!
John's presence is part of you...and the kind of love we're aiming for.
That was beautiful aunt Pat, and you are an amazing woman. I love you so much. - Pamela
Dear Childhood Friend, I know exactly what you mean. After we lost our best friend at our house last summer from the bee sting, I know he is still here. I feel him smiling and laughing and enjoying every minute...while me, I may be sad or whatever, but he is trying to cheer me up!
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