Questionnaire

When I went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN., in early March for a second opinion, I agreed to participate in a medical research study.  No cost to me other than a little time and a few more vials of blood.  Hopefully, I would be paying forward and able to help future patients with information they glean from me.  The doctor heading up the study handed me a lengthy health questionnaire at our meeting and asked me to complete it and send it back in.  I had so much going on with all the other tests, that I completely forgot about the thick packet of information.  It sat quietly in a folder with all the other information they sent home until I received a letter last week prompting me to please complete and send it back in.

After rummaging through my files, I found the questionnaire and began filling out the forms.

I used to breeze through forms like these.  Lung problems? No. Blood problems? No. Heart problems? No. Kidney problems? No. Eye problems? No. No. No.  It was nice to fill out medical forms and look at all the boxes checked as 'No' and realize how fortunate I am not to have any of those.  Lucky me.

Well, it's still that way... until I get to the cancer section, or the previous surgery or scans questions, whichever comes first. These days, I find that there isn't enough room on the forms to answer the questions completely. Previous surgery? Yes. Cancer? Yes.. MRI/PET/CT Scans....Yes. Yes. Yes.

But it's still strange to put down "No" so many times.  I'm actually in pretty good health, no high blood pressure or high cholesterol or diabetes.  Don't smoke.  Aside from the cancer stuff, of course.  I've never really had too many symptoms from the actual cancer.   Numbness on a portion of my right side, which causes several other physical problems, and the initial intense pain which has thankfully subsided, and few other maladies that initially came with it.  Most of the pain, discomfort, and annoyances, now comes from the treatments.  Go figure!

But then came the psychology questions. "Are you generally satisfied with your life?" I wanted to say, "Yeah, except for this whole cancer thing." But that wasn't one of the options. It was just yes or no, so I put yes. And that's true. I am happy.  I have a great husband, family, and friends. Except for that whole cancer thing, of course. Then they asked, "Do you feel severely depressed?" This time I answered, "No." The answer I wanted to give was, "No, except when I think about my cancer, and what it has done to my life and the lives of the people I care about," but that wasn't one of the options either. And that's true. I'm not depressed. Maybe they should have asked me if I get sad and cry sometimes.

But all in all, after looking over my completed questionnaire, I seem to be in pretty good shape. Except for that whole cancer thing, of course.

PCQ