I received the email below a few days ago from a dear friend.
"Several years ago, I let my hair grow and when it was long enough, cut 10 inches off for Locks of Love. I did it because a family friend was a 2 time cancer survivor. She had breast cancer, then colon cancer. She's 85 now. It was her suggestion...that I had so much hair, I ought to do it.
So, now, in your honor, I'm going to do the same. I'm letting my hair grow so that I can donate to Locks of Love, in your honor. It doesn't help you in particular, but, I hope to help someone else, in your name. Love Ya!"
When I received her email, I thought, what great timing she has. I had not told her that I will probably lose my hair with this new treatment I am receiving. The statistics aren't 100%, but pretty close and even if I don't lose it, it could look so scraggly and thin that shaving is the only option. Who wants to look like one of those old witches stirring their brew with tiny wisps of wiry hair pointing in all directions? My doctor told me it would begin after my second treatment. So we wait and see.
At least to me, a bald head shows strength and courage. And John said he thought it would be pretty cool to sleep with a bald woman!
But, back to my friend, I was so moved by her thoughtfulness! What a grand thing to do in my honor. And though she said it wouldn't help me, little did she know how much it lifted my spirits. It truly warmed my heart and soul! And to think, someone somewhere, will one day have a beautiful wig from her thick curly hair.
What a dear friend.
PCQ
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sore Throat
There's an old saying, "If you want to get your mind off your problems, just put on a pair of shoes that hurt your feet."
I might add to the part about getting your mind off your problems....a sore throat. Now, let me say, I've had plenty of sore throats before, strep, colds, etc. but nothing like this. I'm talking really, really, sore; hurts to open your mouth sore. I know it was listed as one of the many side effects from the chemo treatment, but I was really more worried about nausea, upset stomach, and a few other things. I've had those, but this throat issue has trumped all of that.
It started on Saturday, just a little sore with tiny red bumps all inside, by Sunday, it was really bad. John pulled out the flashlight and inspected it. Yep, red throat, white places on my tongue and all around the back and the little hangy thing in the back was swollen too. So, when Monday rolled around and I wasn't any better, I decided it was time to call the doctor. The confusing thing about getting these side effects is, you don't know if it is from the treatments or, maybe you're really sick from something else. After taking my temperature and coming to the conclusion it is probably the meds, I called.
Picked up the "Magic Mouthwash" prescription later that day. It helps some, but I'm still having trouble talking and swallowing (feels like sand spurs going down). So, I am trying to talk as little as possible and hoping it will ease off soon.
Yep, sure got my mind off the other problems I have.
PCQ
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Second Line Therapy
The past few weeks I have tried not to think about going back to my oncologist. It was just a very wonderful time being off the drugs. I was able to sleep, eat, had energy and felt as close to normal as I have been since last summer before I became ill.
So, I am sure you can empathize with me when I walked out the door to leave for Greenville. I had a lot of things that I would find out today. As I got to the end of the drive way, I could feel my blood pressure going up. Know that sounds crazy, but it was real to me.
John had some things to do at work, so he met me at the doctor's office. We were taken in right away and went through the normal drill, get my blood work done so the doctor will have the information when we talk. Four large vials of blood were taken and quickly sent to the lab via a little special "suck" tube like the ones you see at the bank. Put them in and swoosh, gone.
Shortly after that, Austin, Dr. Mahajan's nurse, was at the door, smiling as always and ready to get the next information that would be needed before meeting with the doctor. First my weight, told you I had been eating better. Old porky here had put on 6 pounds in the past few weeks. But that was a good thing cause it will probably change soon.
My blood pressure was still up, but not as high as it was on the last visit, but still high enough for me to be concerned.
Dr. Mahajan came in a few minutes later. He is always smiling and in a good mood. He asked how I was doing and I told him, "I had a great few weeks and would be even better if he had good news for me." He smiled and pulled up my info on the computer. Good news, all my blood counts were back to normal. That was very good news, because as you know, if the counts are too low, I would not be able to continue the treatment. Next, on to the treatment information. He had tried to get samples from the biopsy taken last fall, but unfortunately, it had already been divided too many times. He called Mayo Clinic and their samples were not available either. So, we may have to do another biopsy to get additional tissue. Not looking forward to that procedure. It was probably one of the most painful of all the things I have had done so far. The doctor had to enter via my spine and guide the needle down to the growth and clip tissue. This is all done while under mild sedation....emphasis on MILD here, and while using an ultrasound guide to make sure he is clipping the right thing.
Anyway, on to today's treatment. Initially, I was on what was called first-line treatment - the first move to attack the cancer. The drugs were chosen carefully after Dr. Mahajan assessed my medical situation with me and the Mayo Clinic. These are usually the drugs that would give the greatest response and move the healing forward. And, it works for most people, unfortunately, that was not the case for me.
Just as every cancer is unique to the individual, treatments and responses are the same. One type of therapy will act differently on different people and that's why some of us must go through more than one therapy before the most effective treatment is found. John's question to the doctor, "Did the chemo I was on help any?" His answer, "We don't know, we can only speculate on that. All we know is, it didn't stop or shrink the growth, so we must move to another treatment."
The CT scan and MRI indicated slight growth in the tumor, so a different therapy was needed. With the change there is still good reason to be very hopeful. From what I have learned, there are excellent second-line therapies that produce better responses for many people. But it was difficult. Being told all that you have been through didn't work. I guess the best part of the change in chemo drugs was taking the one that caused so much cold sensation off the table. That was a tough one to deal with. Nothing cold, everything room temperature or warm, no ice cream, no ice tea, nothing....and if it was the least bit cool, it made my throat feel like I couldn't breathe. Plus, it made stuff taste bad.
My understanding is that second line does not mean second best. A lot of patients have to switch treatment to get good results. Sometimes a third or fourth time. But luckily, there are new targeted therapies, with fewer side effects. A KRAS test (which is due to advances in biomarker research and is a new molecular test of the K-ras gene) can provide information on the likely hood of a drug working.
So, I begin the new drug regime. It will be administered with some of the same drugs I was previously given. Still get anti nausea stuff, steroids, all mixed into the witches brew. Then after about 5 hours in the drip chair, they put on my travel pack for the final drug that has to be administered over 46 hours, so I will go back on Friday to be "unhooked".
Wagon is still rolling.....
PCQ
So, I am sure you can empathize with me when I walked out the door to leave for Greenville. I had a lot of things that I would find out today. As I got to the end of the drive way, I could feel my blood pressure going up. Know that sounds crazy, but it was real to me.
John had some things to do at work, so he met me at the doctor's office. We were taken in right away and went through the normal drill, get my blood work done so the doctor will have the information when we talk. Four large vials of blood were taken and quickly sent to the lab via a little special "suck" tube like the ones you see at the bank. Put them in and swoosh, gone.
Shortly after that, Austin, Dr. Mahajan's nurse, was at the door, smiling as always and ready to get the next information that would be needed before meeting with the doctor. First my weight, told you I had been eating better. Old porky here had put on 6 pounds in the past few weeks. But that was a good thing cause it will probably change soon.
My blood pressure was still up, but not as high as it was on the last visit, but still high enough for me to be concerned.
Dr. Mahajan came in a few minutes later. He is always smiling and in a good mood. He asked how I was doing and I told him, "I had a great few weeks and would be even better if he had good news for me." He smiled and pulled up my info on the computer. Good news, all my blood counts were back to normal. That was very good news, because as you know, if the counts are too low, I would not be able to continue the treatment. Next, on to the treatment information. He had tried to get samples from the biopsy taken last fall, but unfortunately, it had already been divided too many times. He called Mayo Clinic and their samples were not available either. So, we may have to do another biopsy to get additional tissue. Not looking forward to that procedure. It was probably one of the most painful of all the things I have had done so far. The doctor had to enter via my spine and guide the needle down to the growth and clip tissue. This is all done while under mild sedation....emphasis on MILD here, and while using an ultrasound guide to make sure he is clipping the right thing.
Anyway, on to today's treatment. Initially, I was on what was called first-line treatment - the first move to attack the cancer. The drugs were chosen carefully after Dr. Mahajan assessed my medical situation with me and the Mayo Clinic. These are usually the drugs that would give the greatest response and move the healing forward. And, it works for most people, unfortunately, that was not the case for me.
Just as every cancer is unique to the individual, treatments and responses are the same. One type of therapy will act differently on different people and that's why some of us must go through more than one therapy before the most effective treatment is found. John's question to the doctor, "Did the chemo I was on help any?" His answer, "We don't know, we can only speculate on that. All we know is, it didn't stop or shrink the growth, so we must move to another treatment."
The CT scan and MRI indicated slight growth in the tumor, so a different therapy was needed. With the change there is still good reason to be very hopeful. From what I have learned, there are excellent second-line therapies that produce better responses for many people. But it was difficult. Being told all that you have been through didn't work. I guess the best part of the change in chemo drugs was taking the one that caused so much cold sensation off the table. That was a tough one to deal with. Nothing cold, everything room temperature or warm, no ice cream, no ice tea, nothing....and if it was the least bit cool, it made my throat feel like I couldn't breathe. Plus, it made stuff taste bad.
My understanding is that second line does not mean second best. A lot of patients have to switch treatment to get good results. Sometimes a third or fourth time. But luckily, there are new targeted therapies, with fewer side effects. A KRAS test (which is due to advances in biomarker research and is a new molecular test of the K-ras gene) can provide information on the likely hood of a drug working.
So, I begin the new drug regime. It will be administered with some of the same drugs I was previously given. Still get anti nausea stuff, steroids, all mixed into the witches brew. Then after about 5 hours in the drip chair, they put on my travel pack for the final drug that has to be administered over 46 hours, so I will go back on Friday to be "unhooked".
Wagon is still rolling.....
PCQ
Monday, June 14, 2010
Been Busy
I have been ever so busy. The end of the school year, beginning of summer, it has all happened too quickly.
Greene County Schools graduated the Class of 2010 last Friday night. What a warm and wonderful night it was. Another school year comes to an end.
I do have to say, I have been off the chemo drugs for two weeks now. I have probably felt the best, slept the best, eaten the best.... since last summer before I got sick. I know that will change when I start the new drugs on Wednesday, so I have tried to live as fast and furiously as I could. Please know I have packed as much as I could into these days because it will change soon.
Here's a few of the things I have done, in no particular order!
Greene County Schools graduated the Class of 2010 last Friday night. What a warm and wonderful night it was. Another school year comes to an end.
I do have to say, I have been off the chemo drugs for two weeks now. I have probably felt the best, slept the best, eaten the best.... since last summer before I got sick. I know that will change when I start the new drugs on Wednesday, so I have tried to live as fast and furiously as I could. Please know I have packed as much as I could into these days because it will change soon.
Here's a few of the things I have done, in no particular order!
Visited a buffalo ranch in North Carolina.
Visited a Charolais cattle farm. Loved the donkey (on the right) they have to help protect the baby calves from coyotes and other predators. He was ever so curious of visitors.
Painted my big rooster that John gave me for my birthday!
Had a wonderful visit from my friends at work. They brought food, cards, and lots of love. I do so miss all of my work buddies! How kind they have been.
Attended the ribbon cutting ceremony for the American Prawn Cooperative in Walstonburg.
(Or as we call them, Greene County Shrimp!)
Natalie and Johnny, you have done a great job!
Visited the river to see how the cottage is coming along. Please hurry, I need some porch time soon!
Learned how to make jewelry with my friend, Pat.
Had a wonderful birthday visit from my friend Dorothy. She brought a beautiful handmade (her hands) pillow case for me to use. The case has Dick and Jane with little red wagons on it. When I first learned to read, our books used Dick, Jane and Spot, to teach us. Oh yeah, and Fluffy the cat.
And she brought yellow, red and orange plums from her trees.
Sprinkle in a Happy Birthday dinner at Ribeye's with Harold and you can see I tried not to waste a minute of time!
Pulling my wagon as fast as I can go....
PCQ
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Happy Birthday
What a wonderful birthday I had! My party-in-a-box friend, Kay, called a few weeks ago and said we needed to get together. It had been a while since our last visit, so we starting planning. Looked like the first opportunity would be.....my birthday weekend. Kay told me to come on up so we started making plans.
John and I always have fun when we visit with Kay and Bill. Little did I know all the fun things she had planned. But she truly outdid herself this trip!
You can watch the video of my Happy Birthday song on youtube by clicking the link below.
Happy Birthday to ME!
He played a number of wonderful songs as dinner was being prepared.
A wonderful birthday cake from a fine bakery in the area and it was delicious.
And did I forget, there were presents, lots of laughs, and fellowship with friends and neighbors. The night was almost perfect...except for that little discussion about how well the BP oil spill was being handled. But, after we settled that, all was well with the world.
Soon, it was time for my wagon to head back home. Thank you Kay and Bill, for all you did to make me feel special and loved!
PCQ
Kay and Rosie coming to greet us.
You can watch the video of my Happy Birthday song on youtube by clicking the link below.
Happy Birthday to ME!
My piano player.
He played a number of wonderful songs as dinner was being prepared.
Bill and John prepare steaks for dinner.
Steaks, soft shell crabs, baked potatoes, beets, squash, string beans......and....cake!
Little Rosie helps me blow out the candles on my cake.
And did I forget, there were presents, lots of laughs, and fellowship with friends and neighbors. The night was almost perfect...except for that little discussion about how well the BP oil spill was being handled. But, after we settled that, all was well with the world.
Soon, it was time for my wagon to head back home. Thank you Kay and Bill, for all you did to make me feel special and loved!
PCQ
Monday, June 7, 2010
Fresh Flowers
Last week while dusting, I looked at an orchid my daughter had given me a while back and realized all the beautiful blooms on it would be gone soon. It hit me, that I have been blessed with fresh flowers or a flowering plant brought by family or friends, in the house since I was first diagnosed last year in August. As I picked a fading bloom off, I thought, it had to happen sometime, no flowers.
Please understand, I have gardenias and a snowball bush in full bloom right now and I certainly put them to good use. But, the flowers I am talking about, were brought filled with love by friends and family.
As I finished a few chores around the house, the phone rang. John answered it and was soon engaged in conversation with the caller. All I heard him say before he hung up was, "Sure, come on over, we'll be here."
A few minutes later, my friend Kim arrived with husband Phil in tow. And to add to the fun of having them drop in for a visit, Kim was carrying a huge bouquet of sunflowers. And she got here before the last orchid bloom had fallen.
Thanks Kim, you didn't realize what great timing you had. More fresh flowers filled with love from a kind and gentle friend.
PCQ
Please understand, I have gardenias and a snowball bush in full bloom right now and I certainly put them to good use. But, the flowers I am talking about, were brought filled with love by friends and family.
As I finished a few chores around the house, the phone rang. John answered it and was soon engaged in conversation with the caller. All I heard him say before he hung up was, "Sure, come on over, we'll be here."
A few minutes later, my friend Kim arrived with husband Phil in tow. And to add to the fun of having them drop in for a visit, Kim was carrying a huge bouquet of sunflowers. And she got here before the last orchid bloom had fallen.
Thanks Kim, you didn't realize what great timing you had. More fresh flowers filled with love from a kind and gentle friend.
PCQ
Friday, June 4, 2010
Results from the Scan
Did not get the good news I was hoping for on Wednesday from my scans and blood work. My white blood cell count was down and they couldn't give me a chemo treatment after it has gone below a certain level. But it didn't really make a difference, because I would not have gotten treated anyway. The nasty little tumor has increased in size. Not much, but enough to indicate the chemo drugs I am now taking are not working on this growth as it should have gotten smaller.
So we go to plan B. I will wait a bit to allow my blood numbers to come back up, then we will start a new regime.
Of course, this is not what I wanted to hear, but was prepared for it and doing okay considering everything.
Big concern now will be, will this work? Of course, I am also concerned about side effects. Sometimes they can be worse than the cancer.
With all this news, it is no wonder that my blood pressure was the highest it has ever been. That frightened me even more! Only good news, I didn't lose any more weight. Who would have ever thought I would be happy about that?
PCQ
So we go to plan B. I will wait a bit to allow my blood numbers to come back up, then we will start a new regime.
Of course, this is not what I wanted to hear, but was prepared for it and doing okay considering everything.
Big concern now will be, will this work? Of course, I am also concerned about side effects. Sometimes they can be worse than the cancer.
With all this news, it is no wonder that my blood pressure was the highest it has ever been. That frightened me even more! Only good news, I didn't lose any more weight. Who would have ever thought I would be happy about that?
PCQ
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Hey Y'All - What a Weekend!
Had a great girlfriend weekend over Memorial Day, but somehow, that just doesn't seem to say enough. I'm lucky enough to be in an investment club with a wonderful group of women. We meet six times a year, sometimes more, just because we want to.
When we started our club about 15 years ago, our first goal was to have fun and second to make money. I think we have prioritized and achieved that first goal very well.
We use our dividends to pay for our "planning sessions", such as the one we had last weekend. Wow, did we make some plans!
As you can see from the photo, we like to dress up and have fun. We chuckled that we probably looked like we had escaped from some place that needed hired attendants to keep a watch over us. So, we issued a "Silver Alert" on ourselves. We were on the loose and stirring up the neighborhood.
Most of the group are retired now, from very respectable jobs they all like to say. And that is true. But more than that, we are all great friends. Friends that trust and feel safe with each other, and care deeply about our friendship. We never have any harsh words with one another and we laugh more than I can measure. I think I laughed more this past weekend, than most people do in six months, and I really needed it.
When I read about how important it is to have good friends, I always think about my girls. Every one of them, in their own way, adds a special spice and sparkle to our group. Some cook, some like to clean, some bring toys, others like to play with the toys. It just works.
So, after several days of fun, we said goodbye. Back home to our wonderful husbands.....none of us has ever had more than one....and our separate lives.
We will go home with a boat load of great stories that we will tell and hope are as funny as it was when it happened, cause we love to share our tales of fun.
Thank you girlfriends for helping me have a wonderful time. And don't forget, my wagon is ready to roll back down to the seashore anytime with you!
PCQ
When we started our club about 15 years ago, our first goal was to have fun and second to make money. I think we have prioritized and achieved that first goal very well.
We use our dividends to pay for our "planning sessions", such as the one we had last weekend. Wow, did we make some plans!
As you can see from the photo, we like to dress up and have fun. We chuckled that we probably looked like we had escaped from some place that needed hired attendants to keep a watch over us. So, we issued a "Silver Alert" on ourselves. We were on the loose and stirring up the neighborhood.
Here we are doing a Chinese fire drill to get our luggage up the stairs.
Most of the group are retired now, from very respectable jobs they all like to say. And that is true. But more than that, we are all great friends. Friends that trust and feel safe with each other, and care deeply about our friendship. We never have any harsh words with one another and we laugh more than I can measure. I think I laughed more this past weekend, than most people do in six months, and I really needed it.
When I read about how important it is to have good friends, I always think about my girls. Every one of them, in their own way, adds a special spice and sparkle to our group. Some cook, some like to clean, some bring toys, others like to play with the toys. It just works.
So, after several days of fun, we said goodbye. Back home to our wonderful husbands.....none of us has ever had more than one....and our separate lives.
We will go home with a boat load of great stories that we will tell and hope are as funny as it was when it happened, cause we love to share our tales of fun.
Thank you girlfriends for helping me have a wonderful time. And don't forget, my wagon is ready to roll back down to the seashore anytime with you!
PCQ
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