John's Girlfriend

Guess some of you didn't know John has girlfriends.  At least that is what I call them.

But let me back up a bit.  About 3 years ago, John was told he must stop smoking or face immediate medical problems.  My thoughts are, that should be said to anyone that smokes, but most of us think we are invincible, we will be different from all those other people that had bad habits and their bodies succumbed to them.

The doctor told him of a new medication that could help with the process.  What did he have to lose other than the cost of the medication?  Our insurance, in its infinite wisdom, didn't cover the cost and this was expensive and no generic available.  But logic would tell us, spending money for help should trump money being spent to slowly kill yourself.  So he began.

John's friend, Charlie, had stopped smoking and we both thought he would be a good mentor and resource in this process so he called him.  "Get on the internet, get all the information you can.  You just have to find what will work for you,"  Charlie said.   And that's what John did.  He found a stop smoking website and starting reading.  Listening to the successful quitters and even the ones that weren't successful and still struggling.  The website had clubs and offered all types of opportunities to interact with other people, just like you, that are struggling through the dreadful withdrawal.

John finally settled into several small groups that seemed to fit like an old shoe.  One was  the June quit club (since he quit on my birthday and it was the best birthday present he ever gave me!) Another was the CCC club, which used the medication as a premise.  He was quickly taken under several people's wings and he listened to every thing they said.  NOPE (Not One Puff Ever!) became the mantra.    Don't even think about it.  Their stories were real, some of them inspirational and some heartbreaking.  But it worked.  He hasn't smoked in nearly 3 years.  How proud I am of him.

And that is where the "girlfriends" come in.  The "angels" on the website watch for newbies and offer suggestions, encouragement and praise.  While struggling through all of this, you become friends.  You learn about the other person's DH (dear husband) or BF (boyfriend), or DD (dear daughter).  The social engagement with people you've never met becomes an important part of your quit.  When you hurt they rush in, lift you up, and try their best to help you.  They tell stories,  tell jokes, have online parties, give out "keys" for special anniversary dates like first week, first month, etc. and as you learn and succeed, you start to pay forward and help new people too.  Just knowing someone, somewhere cares that you made it through another day can make a big difference in your quit.

John quickly developed a great group of friends, male and female.  Though most of them were women and that suited John just fine.  What a great group they are and oh how much they helped him.  He became their 'Brother John' and 'John Boy' on the site and he had little sisters all over the world, struggling and walking along with him on their journey to a smoke free life.

The group always bantered about getting together sometime if anyone was ever in the same area of the country, but the stars just hadn't aligned for that to happen until last week.  We were on our way to a funeral and one of his 'girlfriends' mentioned she and her husband would be traveling south down I-95 from Connecticut to her Florida home on Sanibel Island for the winter.  Could we make it work out?  With a little coordination, John finally got to meet Sister Kitty and she got to meet Brother John.  She had always been one of his favorites and luckily, it just worked out.

They hugged and chatted, all the years of internet communication, hand holding and encouragement had made them dear friends.  Dear friends that had never formally met until today.  You can tell by the smiles on their faces, they were happy to finally be able to look at each other and say, "Thank you!"  But soon our time was over, we had a funeral to attend and that couldn't wait.

One last look, a long sincere hug and another thank you for the help and support, and Kitty and John said goodbye.  Two people brought together when they needed one another's help to rid themselves of the Nicodemon, as they fondly named their habit.  Two people who succeeded with the help of many people they may or may not ever meet.   But people that changed their lives in a very important way.

And from my side of this equation, I can only say, "Thank you Sister Kitty, you have been an inspiration not only to John but to me as well.  On your  beach walks you have lifted me up to the 'ocean spirits' for healing during my illness and that love and caring comes through my computer strong and true."

Thanks to all again....we can never have enough "girlfriends".

PCQ