Coaching Third

I went to a baseball game tonight.  My compadres all congregate in The Jungle, an area behind second and third base, and they call Tony the mayor.  It was a fine night for a baseball game, visiting with friends, and making good memories.  

I stood there, eating a hotdog and looking at the beautiful Clark-LeClair Stadium.  The sun was bouncing off all the ECU purple and gold and a gentle breeze was tickling the stars and stripes as the national anthem played. 

You can't help but think about Keith LeClair anytime you go the stadium.  They named it after him.  But it goes much deeper than that.  LeClair, a past ECU baseball coach, died of ALS, a cruel disease that slowly robs you of life.  In some ways, I can identify with the pain and loss he endured.  But what I want to do is live like him.  

A book about his life, Coaching Third, was recently released, and though I haven't read it yet, I have had the opportunity to hear a few stories from it.  LeClair, who coached third base during part of his baseball career,  realized after becoming ill, that coaching moved to third place after God and family.  What an inspiration he continues to be for all of us.

So, as I stood there, enjoying my friends, listening to their stories, somehow life seemed more special.  Enjoy ever minute, it goes by just too fast.

PCQ

Don't Ever Give Up!

My UNC friend, Al, sent me this quote by Jimmy Valvano recently, "Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul."

It reminded me of what a remarkable man he was and how blessed we were to have him at NC State.  I was lucky enough to attend his last basketball game in Reynolds Coliseum.  We all wore black bands around our arms to signify our distress.  He was forced into leaving due to allegations of NCAA misconduct of which he was later cleared by all parties, but he was still gone.  I can almost remember the exact seat I was sitting in.  What a memory.

Jimmy V, who died at the age of 47 of bone cancer in 1993, set up the V Foundation, and to date, the V Foundation has raised over $90 million for cancer research.  Valvano left many memorable quotes with us and I thought I would share a few of them with you today.  His words give us all inspiration to live by.

• "To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."
• Time is very precious to me.  I don't know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say.  Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too...I urge all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have.
• "Be a dreamer. If you don't know how to dream, you're dead."
• "I asked a ref if he could give me a technical foul for thinking bad things about him. He said, of course not. I said, well, I think you stink. And he gave me a technical. You can't trust em."
• "How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal, and you have to be willing to work for it."
• "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
• "No matter what business you're in, you can't run in place or someone will pass you by. It doesn't matter how many games you've won."
• "There are 86,400 seconds in a day. It's up to you to decide what to do with them."
• "Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding."
• "Don't give up, don't ever give up."

Now he knew how to pull a red wagon!

PCQ

The Porch

Here's a short story I wrote many years ago about our summer cottage in Atlantic Beach, N.C.  Got to thinking about things I have written and was encouraged by a friend to republish some of the good ones.  This has always been a good one.  Hope you enjoy.

For many years we have been coming to the Taylor Cottage, a large beach house with a grand porch, always well cared for and stocked with extra large, white, rockers that make watching the ocean even better.  It never occurred to me how deep the roots of this place were inside of me until I visit on a cold winter day when there is no one here but me.

I find myself walking up the old steps to a porch with no one there, the boards creaking as if they miss the gentle massage of summer feet.  How strange it seems to see it quiet, with no one there but me.  I walk onto the porch as if I am looking for something.  Maybe I am.

My mind drifts to the memory of all the many summers I have spent on this fine porch.  It was the central part of the beach and its daily routine; a catchall for wet towels and swimsuits, special seashells saved from the beach, and sandy shoes abandoned by children and adults in too big of a hurry to clean them off.  It was always full of life, parents watching their children playing in the water's edge or building in the sand, a perch to watch for big ships coming into port or even small ones out looking for a school of fish, a gathering place for friends and family that stop by to test our rockers, and to watch for the daily trek of dolphins as they swim by.

But this porch is different.  On rainy days it became Fort Macon, complete with fearless soldiers to watch the sea for invading pirates.  Once it was transformed into a palace with gates that allowed Cinderella to be whisked away in a pumpkin coach pulled with mice horses.  It was a wonderful playground for our children limited only by their imagination.

On hot July afternoons, cool ocean breezes that seem to restore life and offer an instant retreat from the searing sand and heat wash the porch and its inhabitants.  It becomes a collecting place for those who would rather watch sunbathers than be one.  At night, it offers the sound of cards being dealt out in a hot canasta game, mysterious visits from the elusive "wine troll", an occasional gasp at the sight of a shooting star, the sudden roar of laughter from a joke well told, or a squeal of delight from a child being held close in daddy's lap watching nature's light show in a distant ocean thunderstorm.

One rocker is always home to someone reading the latest best selling novel.  One that should not be left in the chair while attending other duties, or upon return they may find it being read by someone else.  Maybe it is the flicker of these memories that have me visiting this porch on a cold winter day.  I find a place in the sunlight out of the wind and sit wondering how long it has been since I truly stopped to think how much this place means to me.  Every year when our vacation here is over and I pack up to drive away, I always look back and say a prayer that the hurricane season will spare us and we will come back to this porch, every board and nail still securely in place.

I look up and see a seagull riding the ocean breeze, watching me, and hoping I will help him with his daily search for food.  Today, I have nothing to offer.  I close my eyes....there should be more.  There should be the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen for those wonderful, juicy, summer, bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches, so full of red vine ripe tomatoes, they run down your arm.  There should be the squeak of a cooler lid and the sound of a cold beer being dragged from the ice and opened, the creak of the screen door as someone passes by on their way to the beach, and the unmistakable sound of beach music.  These are not things we expect in the short days of winter.  We have all moved inside where it is warm.  Our TV and Internet perform their numbing magic and we only dream of this porch when we look at our calendars and see the long expanse till summer.

Finally, I stand.  It is time to get back on the road and off to the meeting that has brought me so close to this porch.  I touch the rail and feel as if I am saying goodbye to a friend.  As I walk down the steps to leave, the board creaks again.  Time will pass and soon it will be summer.  Everyone will be back, and then there will be more memories to be made on this very special porch.

PCQ

I Love Spring

I love spring.  And it always amazes me how quickly it takes over the landscape.  This year, we seem to be about three weeks behind and I have missed those weeks.  Despite the predictable swings of wind, temperature, rain, and sunshine, spring just makes me feel good.  It gives promise that there are better days ahead.  Happy days are here again, isn't that what we all want?

Being the official turning point from winter to summer, with the sun passing over the equator, spring brings so many changes.  Just this morning, I look out and see the grass is greener than yesterday.  We had a little shower last night, and it seems to have plumped the grass right up, and unfortunately, the weeds too.

The birds are singing a different song, a spring song.  My sweet hummingbirds will be returning soon, spurred on by the gentle change of seasons.  The flowers are like a wave going across the yard, everyday something a little different and sometimes, more spectacular.

It is springtime, and I need it so much!

PCQ

Chemo Pack Off

Got the chemo pack taken off today. Was not nearly as painful as it was to put it in, I am happy to say.  Getting it removed was certainly a welcomed event but I won't complain about having to carry it around and sleep with it for the past few days.  It is a much better option than having to be confined to a chair for long periods of time.

The pump was administering a small dose of the drug every 1 1/2 minutes and had to be consistently maintained for a certain number of hours.  So far, I think I have tolerated the drugs reasonably well, but time will tell.  Takes a while for the drugs to build up in my system.  Let's just hope this is doing exactly what we want it will do.  This will be a carefully waged war; to see what my body can take and what the cancer cannot.

Be strong!

PCQ

Much Better Today

Didn't realize what a puny puppy I was on Monday, when I returned home from my first day of chemo treatments, till John and I talked today.  What I didn't say in my blog yesterday, was that I had a school board meeting at 6 last night.  Had just enough time when I got home from the long day at the first chemo treatment to re-rag and get ready to leave.  Not only is it a meeting, I am the chairwoman.  Thankfully, our meeting went well.  We approved plans for our new intermediate school, approved revised fiscal items, approved our auditor contract, and got a wonderful overview of the exciting tour our Young Scholars will have this coming summer to the Grand Canyon, New York City, and Chicago, via the train.

But it had been a long day, and when I got home.  I had a total collapse.  My mind and body had been through about as much as it needed for one day.  My sweetheart, John, had dinner all ready for me, BBQ chicken and hand cut friend fries, yummy, and just what I wanted and needed.  Good comfort food.

Had several phone calls to return and soon it was time for bed.  The chemo pump I was wearing proved to be a little difficult, probably more so than it will be tonight, because I was still in significant pain from the port insertion.  The site was really hurting and I just couldn't seem to get it under control.  Also, the effects of the medication I am taking were starting to take effect.  Most of the drugs hopefully, will have minimal side effects, at least that is what I am hoping for, but one, has had significant warnings about the impact of anything cold.  The nurse said she had been told, drinking cold water would feel like cut glass going down my throat and the feeling that my throat will close up and I can't breathe.  Obviously, it will only take one time of doing that to get my attention and make sure I don't do that again.  But it started, and touching a cold door knob, brushing my teeth, picking up a glass, reaching in the refrigerator to get the ketchup....OUCH!  Feels like an electric shock, or like your foot feels when it goes to sleep and wakes up, the needle prickly feeling, except it doesn't go away quickly.  I looked for a pair of gloves.

Enough about the chemo, I have had some wonderful surprises recently.  This cute little red wagon, with a warm fleece blanket, book, assortment of exotic teas, trail mix, gum, and jelly beans, was lovingly placed by my back door Sunday afternoon by Stanley and Kay.  What sweet friends to think of me and know what my next day at chemo was going to bring.  The little red wagon will pop up again, I promise.

A short time later, there was a knock on the front door.  It was Stuart, a neighbor down the road, standing there with a smile and a homemade caramel cake.  Again, YUM, YUM!

And the flowers my prawn friend, Natalie brought last week, are still beautiful.  Don't think a day has gone by that I didn't have a vase of fresh flowers in the house and it has certainly made my life more pleasant.

My wagon has been pulled many miles the past few months.  Don't know what I would do without all the fine things I have been given to take with me.

PCQ

Drip - Drip - Drip

Woke up a little earlier than usual this morning, though it was still dark outside.  Guess I was just anxious over all that would be happening today.  Monday, and it looks like it may rain any minute, but at least it is warm outside.  Seems so good that I am not freezing all the time.

I left home for my 8:15 appointment with Dr. Ballenger in a pouring rain storm.  I always worry about our school buses when it is raining and time for school to take in.

Hadn't seen Dr. Ballenger, my radiologist, since last fall.  Was good to see her, she is a very warm and caring physician, and especially good as she is pregnant.  Told her it looked like she had been having way more fun than me.  She is having twin boys this summer and very excited.

Caught her up on my Mayo visit and we discussed my options with regard to any additional radiation.  Her recommendation is no more radiation at this time.  If my pain were to increase substantially, we may have to revisit, but for now, no more.

After leaving, I went directly to my appointment with Dr. Mahajan.  I start my first chemotherapy treatment today, so it is a big day.  Obviously, I am apprehensive about it.  Reading all the materials that I received about the meds (and having to sign a statement saying I understand) can certainly get the old worry ball moving.  Dr. Mahajan was very kind and told me I was healthy and should do just fine.  Not to worry about things that may not happen.  So, I will take his advice and hope for good things.

He did give me a prescription for nausea.  Hopefully, I will not need it, but.....

Next, on to the DRIP ROOM.  There are 12 chairs and today it was nearly full.  The photo above was taken this afternoon around 4 p.m. when the other patients had already left.  I was the only one still getting a treatment, though there were other people coming in to get shots, have temperature taken and other things.  With this being my first day, I am still getting a 'lay of the land'.  I'll have it all figured out soon.

More papers to sign.  Does it ever stop?  But, the nurses were very good about showing all the equipment and what was expected.

Hooking me up to the IV machine proved to be a little challenging.  The infection had my port site still very sore.  It was still warm to the touch and the nurse went to get final approval from Dr. Brillant before continuing.  Dr. Mahajan had looked at it and thought it was okay, though he did mention my bad luck.

OUCH!  "May hurt a little'" she said.  That was a gross under estimate.  It hurt really bad!  She had to 'manipulate' the port to start the connection.  Did I say it HURT REALLY bad???  The needle they use to connect me to the IV has a hook on it and she has to manipulate it to get it connected so it won't come loose.  The first try didn't work.  OUCH!!  The needle kept popping out, so she had to undo and get another needle and start all over.  OUCH!!!  OUCH!!  OUCH!!!  Finally, she got it connected and I was ever so thankful for that.  By this time, I was sweating and wishing I had one of those pumps the hospital gives you with pain meds in it and you mash the button.  I would have been pounding it.  She was really sorry she had to push so hard but the tissue is still swollen around the port site and it was what had to be done.

Each of the meds I receive today are being given separately and more slowly than they will be on the next visit.  Between each med, they must flush the line and get the IV machine restarted.  She did give me a nausea drug prior to starting the pump.  We went over things I must do and be careful of.  They are sending me home with a pump that I will wear till Wednesday and I will come back in and have it removed.  After that, I will be off for two weeks and start the process all over again.

Been a long day and still much time to go.  It does seem a shame to have to spend the time you have, sitting in a chair, connected to medications so powerful and poisonous that there are warning signs everywhere about how to dispose, cleanup, and contain, what is being generously dripped into your body.

But that is where my wagon is being pulled today.  POWER UP!

PCQ

Nothing Comes Easy

As you know, I got the IV port installed on Tuesday.  There was a problem with a kink in the line and it caused a little more manipulation than normal to make sure everything was working, but, being in "La La Land" caused me not to notice till I saw all the bruising the next day.

Turning over in bed or raising my left arm was cause for pain and, as I said before, don't know what I thought they were going to do, but I didn't think it would hurt so much.  Just a wimp I thought.  Even John agreed maybe I was being a little whiney, so, I went about daily activities as best I could, but I just didn't feel right.

On Friday, I noticed the large incision was red and slightly inflamed.  I showed it to John and he said, "Let Leslie look at it today when she comes."  Sweet Leslie and her girls, Caroline and Sarah Ruth were coming over for lunch and a visit.  Leslie would have a good eye with her medical background we both agreed.

Leslie was here just a short bit when John asked her to look at my incision.  He thought it looked worse.  Leslie looked at it closely and said there was inflammation and it was Friday, doctors will be more difficult to contact on he weekend.  "Call you doctor and let him know, it can't hurt anything.  We can email a photo if they need it," she said.  So I go inside and call the office.  "Come right in for us to look at it," the nurse said, so off I go.

Sat and waited and waited.  Being worked into a busy schedule, waiting is expected and finally, Dr. Brillant comes in.  He looks at the IV port and says, "You did the right thing by coming in.  It is red and shows inflammation.  If it is infected they cannot start the chemotherapy treatments on Monday and we may have to take this port out and start over."

WHAT! I couldn't be hearing this.  Take this one out...no, we have to get my treatments started as soon as possible.  I didn't want or need any more delays.  Every day that I wait, mentally, I see my growth getting bigger, gaining ground.  I don't want that.  The sooner we start bombarding it with the chemotherapy the sooner I will feel like I am in control again, even if it makes me sick while it happens.

Dr. Brillant wrote a prescription for an antibiotic and his nurse, Melanie, told me she would fax it to my pharmacy in Snow Hill.  As I was driving out of the parking lot, I thought, I should have gotten a hard copy of the prescription.  It's Friday and if there is a problem....well, I didn't feel good so I didn't turn around, I went on home.  Got home at 4:45 and promptly called the pharmacy.  They had not received a fax from my doctor.  Called the doctor's office and went through the extensive phone tree trying to get to Melanie.  After several transfers, Melanie was on the line.  Yes, she had faxed it but she would fax it again, just to be sure.  Meanwhile, John called and asked if there was anything I needed from town before he came home.  He didn't know I had gone to the doctor so I filled him in and asked if he would stop by and pick up the prescription.  "Sure," he said.  He called back in a few minutes.  "They don't have the medication he prescribed."  "What do you mean they don't have it?" I said.  "Just what I said, they don't have it.  They have called to several other locations and it will be Monday before they can get it in," he said.  "Okay, just get the hard copy of the prescription and we can run to Target or somewhere to get it," I said, and hung up the phone.

John called back in a few minutes, "They can't give me a copy of the prescription because it was electronic."  "Do what?" I said.  "They can't give me a copy of the prescription because it is electronic, legally they can't, they're still trying to see what they can do, I'll call you back in a few minutes and let you know what's going on," he said.

When we hung up, all I could think about was the the stinging pain in my chest from the IV port.  I had to have the antibiotics, I had to have it soon so we can get rid of the infection.  I don't need anything else to side track this process.  I never even thought about an infection, or maybe having to have the port removed.  How long would all that take?  We just need to get the medicine and get it now.

The phone rang, it was John.  The pharmacy was able to contact the doctor and he had issued another prescription for a medication they had in stock, he would be home in a few minutes.

As soon as he came in, I went and took the medicine.  "Thank you," I said, "sorry it was such a problem."  "Not to worry," he said,  "you sent the A Team didn't you?"  He was right.  John always finds a way to get to get it done.  One of his colleagues at a previous job told me, "You know, if John hits a brick wall running full speed, he will be thinking of a way to get over, around, or through it before he hits the ground."  I have always remembered that and have seen it to be true so many times.  If I was picking a team for anything, John would always be my first pick.  Guess that's why I love and admire him so much, that dogged determination.  He always figures out a way to get things done, especially for me.

PCQ

Holden and Me

Most of my friends have grandchildren, I have granddogs.  Don't get me wrong, I love Josie and Holden, they are wonderful.  John and I have certainly had fun anytime they come to stay with us.

Holden, Meredith's black lab, has been with us for a few weeks.  She had to be out of town and due to several other things going on, we told her he could stay with us for a bit.  What a change he brings.  John calls him, Bigun.  That is his slang for 'Big One'.  He is a big boy, 80+ lbs. and still a growing puppy.

He is more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings, faster than a speeding bullet...oh that is Superman, but Holden can do all of that too.  If he wants to come in the door then he knocks everything out of the way to get in.  Coffee table in the way, no problem, I can get by.  He is totally oblivious to anything between him and what he is headed toward.

We watched the movie, Marley and Me, last night.  It was amazing to see so many similarities in Holden and Marley.  And Holden sat and watched the movie with us.  Don't know if he was taking notes or just enjoying the film.

Our old dog, an Australian Shepherd named Nick, looks at him with a hint of dislike, but does tolerate Holden pretty well.  They play together, but on occasion I see Nick herding Holden toward the woods behind our house and I wonder if he is hoping the new pup will follow him and get lost out there.

When he came, John had to build him an escape proof kennel.  Meredith nicknamed him Houdini, he could get out of  the store bought crate she had in 2.2 seconds.  And that doesn't work too well when you have a big dog.  But John prevailed and Holden sleeps in his "new" bed now with no problems.  We put him outside of course and when Meredith called to check on him, we told her he was sleeping outside.  "Oh he's not used to the cold weather, he always sleeps inside with me," she said.  I promptly emailed her a photo of him in the pond, swimming, with ice all around, and I think I saw a smile on his little face.

Anyway, life has been interesting with the big boy around here.  Had to teach him NOT to eat my chickens.  We, I think, have passed that hurdle.  Every time he looks at one of them, I whack him on the nose and say, "NO!".  So far, that has worked.

Holden enjoying left over pasta.  He learned a few tricks while eating this.

Here's a video of Holden and one of his gourds.  He found my stash of dry gourds and they have become a true source of enjoyment for him in the pond everyday, temperature doesn't seem to matter.

Holden enjoying his gourd

Yesterday, he and Nick came back from their jaunt in the woods, and two Canada geese were in the pond.  I watched to see what he would do and he did just as I thought.  He jumped in the pond and headed for the geese.  They started honking and swam just far enough head of him to be safe, but I have to say, he was persistent.  He swam the entire length of the pond and then they flew over his head and landed about mid way the pond, so he turned around and started after them again.

He doesn't give up too easily.  Maybe it runs in this family.

PCQ

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Quick update for all of you.  Sometimes I tell what procedures were being done but don't really tell you how I am doing.

Actually, I think I am doing darn good.  Talked with my minister, Martin, yesterday, and when I told him about all the love I was receiving from John and friends, he paused and said, "That's God's love."

Sometimes I forget that.  God is love.  When we receive these gifts, they come from God.  I know, we all ask, why doesn't everybody have the same amount of love?  I don't know.  I wish I could make the world perfect and everyone have the love they need.  But I can't.  We just have to deal with what we have and that is where our faith and love comes into play.  God is LOVE.

I am still getting over my IV port being put in place.  For some reason, I thought it would be a cake walk and I would go about life like nothing had happened.  Didn't work that way.  Can hardly lift my left arm without pain and getting out of bed or rolling over got my attention last night and still very sensitive today.  Nothing like another source of pain making you forget about your original pain.  Reminds me of a poster that was on the wall in the first place I worked. 

 "When you are up to your butt in alligators, it's hard to remember your original purpose was to drain the swamp."

Enough said, maybe I will be better tomorrow.

PCQ

IV Port - Done!

Got the IV Port put in place right after lunch today, though I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since before 12 p.m. last night.  Dr. Brillant performed the procedure.

The X-Ray they took to make sure it was placed properly, showed a crimp in the line. Dr. Brillant came in to check it and decided to go back in and flush the line and take another X-Ray to make sure it was working.

The port he installed is behind the bandages, you can see them on my left side.  The line across my chest is the IV line.  The final X-Ray showed all okay and they sent me home.  Probably took an extra 30 minutes to take another X-Ray, make sure it was okay and not going to cause any problems.

Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes and prayers sent via email, blog postings, and by phone.  I hope you know how much it means to me.

Oh yeah, and don't be too frightened by the photos, had to wash twice with special soap and absolutely NO makeup allowed!

Another short pull on the wagon, but we got it done!

PCQ

Plan B

My appointment with Dr. Mahajan was at 11 o'clock.  He came in and we discussed our trip to the Mayo Clinic and he read over all the information they sent home with me.

Now we start Plan B, or maybe it now becomes Plan A.  I will have an IV port put in by Dr. Brillant, at the Surgicenter, on Tuesday.  The port will be put on my chest which will allow direct access of the chemotherapy to my heart by way of a small tube.  The reason for this is to get the drugs to a large flow of blood allowing it to be distributed quickly.  Dilute, dilute, dilute....remember I told you they will be trying to poison me, AGAIN!  Anyway, the port will be inserted and that will be where all chemo will be administered.

There will be three different  chemo drugs (more on the drugs later).  One of the drugs will make me very sensitive to cold, cold anything.  They even gave me a packet with gloves, a scarf, and a blanket.  Guess that lets me know there may be a problem, huh?

So, I start the chemo treatments on Monday.  The first day will be very long as they will give the drugs one at a time and slowly to see how my body accepts it.  If all goes okay, then the next day it will be done a little faster.  My understanding is that I will have 2-3 days of chemo treatments and then be off for 2 weeks.  But I will verify that when I go in.  There was just too much information being given and not sure if I have it all on the correct timeline.

After talking with Dr. Mahajan, he showed me the room where the treatments will be given.  There were several people in the room when I went in.  I know the look that was in their eyes, I saw it when I first walked into the radiation office.  Some were asleep or at least they had their eyes closed, and others looked at me, knowing, the adventure I was getting ready to embrace.  "You can bring your own pillow and blanket, but we have some here if you need them," the nurse said.  "We also have drinks and snacks, but you will have to get your own lunch if you want more than a snack," she said.

We walked into another office and she gave me a large packet of information on the drugs I would be given.  She left me for a few minutes to get more forms to sign and I looked around the room.  It was filled with wigs, scarves, and information on all different types of cancer.  There were demonstrations of how to tie the scarves in summer and winter and where to purchase things you may need while going through the treatments.

Soon she was back with instructions to get several tests done, so off I go to the main office at Physicians East.  When I got there, they told me I needed a blood test, chest X-Ray, and EKG.  "Oh no," I said, "just had that done at the Mayo Clinic on Monday, shouldn't have to get it done again."  "We will need the information on file here," she said.  So, I whipped out my iPhone and got the direct phone number for the Mayo Clinic and she called to have it faxed right away.  Got that done thanks to modern technology.

By then, it was nearly 3 o'clock, no lunch, and I had been busy the past four hours setting up a time for the port surgery, getting chemotherapy information and begin time, and getting scheduled to meet with my radiologist.

Long day, but I was finished.  Had pulled my wagon about as far as I wanted to go.  But the plan was now in place.  I am thankful that I am, other than this nasty growth, healthy and strong, and ready to take this next step with no reservations, knowing I have all of you prayer warriors walking along with me.

PCQ

Mayo Decision

Our much anticipated consult with the Mayo Clinic's Dr. Nelson, finally arrived.  But the outcome was not as we had hoped.

Pat had been probed, scanned, pricked, x-rayed, tested, and had filled out more questionnaires than we care to talk about. All the test results from the Mayo Clinic and from Greenville were condensed into an executive summary for Dr. Nelson. Dr. Nelson is a very highly regarded surgeon near and far. Thank the Lord for fine doctors like her, and bless her work.  Every time her name was mentioned, someone would say, "She is really good."  When she was on her way to our appointment, you would have thought Elvis had just entered the building. Nurse Buehler, her direct report, got a beep alerting her that Dr. Nelson was in the building and on her way.  Nurse Beuhler immediately gathered all of my documents and went out to meet Dr. Nelson and escort her in. In a few minutes, Dr. Nelson came in, right on time, with her entourage, and sat down. She started with her perception of Pat' s history, then continued on with the latest scans. Dr. Nelson showed us the CT scan taken Monday, on the computer, which basically gave digital slices of my bride's body from the neck down, heart, lungs, kidneys, but especially showing a tennis ball size mass on her tail bone/sacrum area. Her radiation/chemo last fall should have shrunk it, or at least stabilized it, and it did show a large portion in the center that was dead, however, it had grown in a new direction and of course, it should not have done that. The growth is in a bad place, lots of nerves, a pivotal place, and much to our dismay, she confirmed our Greenville neurosurgeon's decision that this is too risky, potentially too debilitating, and we may not get all the rogue cells. Back to the doctor's creed, "First do no harm."

We talked about our options going forward, prognosis, expectations, potentials. Needless to say, this was a very emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically draining discussion, but we now had the second opinion we wanted and had traveled so far to get.  And as we said before, if we are going to be turned down for surgery, let's make sure it is by some of  the best.  We finally gathered ourselves together, thanked Dr. Nelson and her staff, and left for the hotel to regroup and to lean on each other for support.

We have faced adversity many times before, but this is a tough one.  We are optimists, just what does it take to fix this? We called Pat's oncologist in Greenville immediately to set up an appointment right away, we needed to know our options.

Stay tuned.

Not PCQ

What a Place!

The day was filled from 9:30 - 4:45 with scans, pokes, prodding, pictures, counseling, x-rays, and signing lots and lots of papers.  I agreed to be in an upcoming Mayo research project.  Just maybe, my little bit of information will help someone in the future.  Pay forward, like all the people before me have done to make my chemo and other tests easier for me and others.  I will say, the Mayo Clinic has waiting down to a precise science and if they told you 2:00, then 2:00 it would be!  They even give you a little beeper so you can wander around and not worry about missing your call.

John with my beeper.

There was beautiful artwork everywhere and a grand piano too!  Here a lady is playing, "Moon River".

Dale Chihuly, one of America's most famous glass work artists, has installations in several places in the building.

An installation by one of America's most famous mobile artists, Alexander Calder titled, Fish.  And it was just hanging over the escalator!

It was a Rodin....but he was naked....

Don't look Ethel!

And everything was clean and ready to go!

Rochester is known for Canada geese and has artist decorated geese all around the city.  When we were waiting at the airport to leave on Thursday, a large flock flew by the window over the runway.  They had certainly been pretty downtown by the river, but with my flight getting ready to take off shortly, a big flock of geese was not a welcome sight.  

PCQ

Where All the Women Are Strong

After a good night's sleep, we decided to check out Rochester.  It was Sunday, so we looked at the map and saw a small Episcopal church right beside the Mayo Clinic and only three blocks away, so off we went.  John was raised in the Episcopal church with many of his family being married in the historic Bath Episcopal Church, the oldest church in North Carolina.... and he was an alter boy.  I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but he sure was cute!

Calvary Episcopal Church is a beautiful little church and we thoroughly enjoyed the Sunday service and the Rev. Nicklas Mezacapa so much we went back on Monday for their monthly Healing Service.  The church will be celebrating their 150th anniversary in April and guess who will be coming to lead them in a gospel sing?  Garrison Keillor! Keillor is best known for his News from Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, a weekly radio story telling monologue, claiming to be a report from Keillor's fictitious hometown of Lake Wobegon, "the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve....where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average."  Wow, I would love to be there for that service.         http://www.calvary-rochester.org/

After church, we looked out at the snow covered landscape, cold and rainy skies, and decided to do a movie marathon, so off we go.  We saw: Crazy Heart, Alice in Wonderland in 3D, and Dear John. Plus, we ate a boat load of popcorn.  I liked all three, (John said the last one is a chic flick) but if you read the book, Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks, the movie ends differently.  Just sayin'...


The next day would be filled with appointments, tests, and doctors, so we had dinner and went to bed.


PCQ

Mayo Clinic

John and I finally made it to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  It was a long flight and with this growth, I don't do too well sitting for extended periods, but I managed.  Here's a photo of Chicago's skyline as we made our connection and left for Rochester.

The flight to Rochester from Chicago was only 45 minutes, but it was obvious this was a cold place.  You can see the shadow of our plane on the snow below as we come for a landing.  Rochester's airport is about twice the size of PGV.

A$25 cab ride and we were at the hotel.  While driving in, we went through our normal questions of the driver: where are the best places to eat, what do you suggest we see, and will you stop and let us pick up a few things for our room?  I am really a cheap skate and hate paying $1.50 for a Diet Pepsi.

We made note of his suggestions and he was kind enough to stop and let us get some drinks and snacks for our room.

Luckily, our room was only 2 blocks from the Mayo Clinic and very nice.  One of my dear friends helped us secure a great room near the clinic (hence the photo so she will know our room was just right) and it had all the things on our checklist: king size bed, free breakfast, free internet service, fridge, microwave, and it was nice, quiet, and CLEAN!!  And we had a view of the city skyline, too.

With the extremely cold weather in Minnesota, the smart folk up there have managed to connect all the buildings we had to visit by way of skywalks, so we didn't even have to go outside to get to the Mayo Clinic!  How sweet is that?

The Mayo Clinic is a wonderful facility and I don't think I can adequately describe all we saw and did but I will try.  So stay tuned tomorrow as we pull our wagon around Rochester.

PCQ

The Great and Powerful Oz

Got together with my Garden Club friends a few days ago.  My artist friend, Pat, was hosting us and she always finds a way to make us feel special.   When I walked in, several of them were already working on the project she had for us.  We were going to dye our own silk scarf!

Since my surgery at PCMH was cancelled and the Mayo Clinic came into the picture, John and I have felt like we were trying to get to Emerald City to see the Wizard of Oz.  Yes, I know it sounds corny, but I have felt like Dorothy, following the yellow brick road to see the the Great and Powerful Oz.  One day all was well in Kansas, then I got sick and was plopped down in a place where everything was different.  All I want is to be back home, just like it used to be and every time I ask for help to get back home, they point and say, "You'll have to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Mayo Clinic)."

The wicked witch periodically and painfully pokes me, "I'll get you my pretty...", to let me know she is still around.  But I try to remember all the wonderful munchkin friends that surrounded me in prayer and sent me on my way.

I have managed to stay on the yellow brick road so far, and not get lost, but I've sure seen plenty of flying monkeys and they still frighten me.  There have been several times when my buddy the Tin Man got rusted up, Scarecrow didn't have all the straw he needed to hold me up, and my Leo the Lion hearted John had to dig deep to find the courage he needed to help me make it through the deep and dark forest.  But I have made it this far.

So, when we started making our scarves, mine was dyed emerald green for good luck...green for the Emerald City. And, when I do finally make it to see the Great and Powerful Oz in Emerald City, I will have my lucky green scarf along with all the other lucky charms in my wagon with me.

PCQ

Not PCQ

Hello to all PCQ fans!

Pat has been suggesting that I write a blog entry from time to time, just so I know how to do it, so I start today. We all hope she has surgery soon, and when she does, she may not want this laptop on her lap, and she may not feel like typing, but she is adamant that her friends and supporters be updated on her status.

Long before she started this blog, she was a putting pen to paper.  When she was pregnant with our two daughters, she managed every night to make a few sentences noting the events and thoughts of the day. Now, two journals sit in our bank safety deposit box, each book denoting the months of pregnancy and first few months of life for each daughter.

In a bedroom dresser drawer are several steno tablets documenting road trips, vacations, beach time and other times of interest over the last 30+ years of our lives together. One can read great jokes, imagine a wave of laughter coming from the cottage front porch, have your mouth water from a grand meal with friends, smile at some of the kids antics, bring back a fun day on the beach and just re-live wonderful memories with our friends. ...........and those that know us know she has published her beach stories in hard back, and planning Volume II. 

My bride indicated last spring that she was starting a blog, just to record and document a funny joke, a delightful meal with friends, a road trip, or as the title says, what is happening around our farm or anything else she wants to write about. Little did we know how much she would have to write about our hopes and fears.

But this is the journey that we are on………..and my warmest thanks to all her cheerleaders, supporters, angels, fairies, family and friends, and oh yeah, all of you pushing and pulling on her wagon……..keep on keeping on, we are going to fix this!

PCQ II (in training)

Friends Visit

Some of my buddies came to visit for lunch on Friday.  Joan and Charlie, Tony and Paula, were all going to the Keith LeClair Baseball Classic and wanted to visit before their games started that afternoon.

This is Paula, a.k.a. my red headed girlfriend Watusi (with blonde highlights).  She brought some of her wonderful brownies for me.

Tony is Watusi's husband.  Seems he's had so much going on with him recently, bad knee, heel hurting, etc., think we might just load him up and take him with us to the Mayo Clinic.

Joan, my other red headed girlfriend, was laughing and telling me to please not put on my blog what they brought for me to eat, because it could not compare to the ham Willa had just brought and some of those luscious pies she had read about.  And, she also said, the next time someone brings another good meal, to call her and she would come the very next day cause we can't possibly eat all the fine food that has been brought to us, and she would be glad to help.

Seems they think we may get cold when we make our trek to Minnesota so they brought gifts for us. My thermostat has been out of kilter since I had radiation and I do stay cold all the time, so that might be true. I told them I had just checked the weather, and it is actually warmer in Minnesota right now than it is in North Carolina!  Something is wrong with this picture.  But when we do make the trip, we will have "stuff" to help us stay warm.

John was excited with his gifts, too.  It was a fun time with my friends.  And nothing can beat warm clothes from great friends in a wagon that will be headed north soon.

PCQ

Chef Bailey

Got a call from George and Willa yesterday, they were cooking a ham and thought they would cook one for us too.  You know the Adams family and pork, never, ever will we turn down a fine pork dinner. And what a fine dinner it turned out to be.

We've been friends with George and Willa for a long time and George's dad, Harold, has been one of our best buddies.  Never a day goes by that we don't email or talk by phone.  That Harold is something else, and the whole family has been a blessing to us.

We have spent many hours together holding down rocking chairs at their fine beach cottage over looking the Atlantic. George and John love deep sea fishing together and seems George always manages to work in a trip or two when we are down on the coast during our summer vacation. Their daughter Lauren, was married in a beautiful wedding this past summer at the beach, and their son Rhett, just got engaged to Ellen, a wonderful young lady.  Life is good for their family.

George and Willa arrived a while later with a beautiful ham, asparagus, potato salad, and a freshly made lemon pie.  The pie was still so warm that when I put it on the pie server with the glass lid, it steamed up and had to take the top off so the pie could cool properly.  Oh my, it did smell so lemony and wonderful.  See that big meringue pie in the photo above?

Are you hungry yet?  Thank you George and Willa!  You have outdone yourselves again.

PCQ

It's March

With March here, I keep hoping for a few signs of spring.  All the cold, wind, and rain, have certainly kept those little signs I look for hidden.  There's an area near the Contentnea Creek I drive by and at certain times of the day, when the sun is shining just right, you can see the tiny red tips of trees that are getting ready to pop out with new leaves.  I haven't seen them them this year.  But I'll keep looking.

The Olympics kept me mesmerized for the past few weeks and that was a good thing.  With so much on my mind, having an exciting race or competition on TV every day sure helped.  Watching the athletes continue to perform despite injuries, weather, loss of family, bad luck, and sometimes, just plain, poor advice, gave me strength.  Isn't that what we all have to deal with?  Sometimes, some of us have more than others, but if we are alive, we will deal with these things.  So, when I have one tiny thought of feeling sorry for myself, I stop and say, why not me.  I am pretty tough, just got to keep going.

Keep this wagon rolling.

PCQ

Weekend

John and I had a good weekend; a good regular, normal, weekend.  And for me, a normal weekend was fabulous!  Saturday, we managed to get several things done we seemed to keep putting on the 'back burner' and finally, just had to, as they say, 'Git r done.'   I will blame myself for the procrastination, sometimes I just don't feel like tackling a project that may take time and energy I often times don't have.  But, we pushed and now they are done.  But I paid for it later that day.  Couldn't find a place to stand, sit, or lay that gave me relief.  Physical comfort for me was not to be found.

John and I had invited our friends, Kathy and Lauri to have dinner with us.  We had missed them so. Thankfully, they were able to come and we had a fine time catching up with one another.  Don't know if I was very good company for them, but they sure were good for me.

Lauri brought a doll she made for me to have all of my friends 'tattoo' her with good wishes when they come to visit.  Unfortunately, my new pup, Holden, seemed to be unusually taken, by my doll, which we named, PQ (you can figure that one out.)  So, I will have to make sure she is out of his reach.

Along with the doll, they brought; flowers, wine, bread, strawberries, and lots of laughs.  It was such a good evening spent catching up on all things friends talk about.

Kathy has a new yellow lab pup, Callie, and she brought her along for a little socialization.  Our two pups, Holden and Nick, enjoyed their canine company too, and though we spent way too much time drying everyone off from their frolics in the pond, it was fun.

Dinner was wonderful.  A well cooked steak, homemade bread, (buttered and grilled by my best chef, John), oven roasted potatoes with onions and red/green/yellow peppers, delicately coated with herbs de provence and my best EVOO.

My days that are normal, have just been too far apart lately.  So, when they come, it makes normal move up to special.

PCQ