Millie

Millie had been sick for the past few months.  Seems she never quite recovered from her husband, Glenn passing away in September.  She had been married to Glenn, her second husband, for several years.  They had a good life together until illness and age began to take away the freedom they so enjoyed.

Millie is the mother of my dear friend, Bill.  Bill's wife, Kay (my party in a box friend), and I have been friends since first grade.


The service for Millie at Trinity Lutheran Church was very nice.  The afternoon sun streamed in the large windows and seemed to make the cascade of poinsettias around the altar glow.

I only met Millie a few times, but I sure heard lots of wonderful stories about her.  She was a remarkable woman.  Her German heritage gave her a strong will and when she made up her mind about something, she would not be swayed.  The minister even mentioned in the service that her children admired that trait in her.

A striking woman in her early twenties, Millie worked with Eastern Airlines and that is how she met Bill's dad.  He was returning from Indonesia, or some far away place during the war and she was helping him with his ticket.  Apparently, there was a tax charge left off of his ticket and he went back to get it corrected.  This time, he asked her for a date.  The rest is history.  Her new husband brought her back home to Sanford and they raised their family.  She must have done something right, because her son Bill is a wonderful father, friend, and one of the finest people I know.

Millie traveled all over the world and I think I would have really enjoyed hearing stories of her travels.  She loved N. C. State University and frequented football and basketball games.  Bill, his dad, and his dad's dad, all graduated from N. C. State.  Her first husband was a general contractor and actually designed and worked on several buildings on the NC State campus.  What a rich heritage their family has with the university.

John and I were both students at NC State and that is how we met Bill.  He was a rugby player and fine one at that.  A tag line for the team was, "Give blood, play rugby!".  Oh how true, it is a rough sport.  What wonderful times we had.  And those times were even better when he and my friend Kay, fell in love with one another.

The minister that married Kay and Bill was at Millie's service.  I was in their wedding.  I told him he must have done a good job cause they were still together after all these years.  Kay introduced the minister to her children, Lee, Mary, and Claire.   He told them that Bill taught his children to swim.  He didn't know if they would have wanted to go learn, except that Bill was so handsome all the young girls signed up to learn in his class.

Millie loved to wear scarves.  Her children brought a beautiful hatbox full of her scarves to the reception held after the service.  They offered the scarves to her friends as a remembrance  of Millie.

Bill's sister, Linda, had on a beautiful wrap and I complimented her.  Seems it was a gift Linda brought to her mother from New Zealand some years back.  She happened to see it just as they were leaving for for the funeral service so she decided to wear it .  The wrap was Possumdown.  When she first mentioned the "possum" part, I was a little surprised to say the least.  But she went on to explain that a breed of small possums was introduced into New Zealand and they almost took over.  Now, to help curb the population, they harvest the fur and mix it with Merino wool to make Possumdown clothing.  Still can't say that without smiling, but I do have to say it felt really, really, good.  And apparently, it doesn't pill up like most wool or fur  products do.  Guess I'll  never look at a dead possum quite the same.

Soon it was time to go.  We gathered the family and her caregivers for a picture.  Millie always wanted the family together at Christmas and she finally managed to get it done.

PCQ

January 26 or 29??

Met with Dr. Brillant today, we have a tentative schedule for January 26 (Tuesday), or January 29 (Friday).

Doc says I will be in the hospital for 10-12 days, minimum.  90% of these surgeries will get an infection so expect it...unfortunately is normal.

More details to follow, it's Christmas, we will worry about all of this tomorrow as Scarlett O'Hara would say.

PCQ

Today's the Day

Have an appointment with the lead surgeon today.  I anticipate that he will provide me with a tentative surgery date as I have met with all six doctors that will be involved.

Scared, worried, nervous, frightened....all words that describe what I am feeling.  I know I MUST have this surgery to remove the cancer, if not, "Game Over".  But, I know the ramifications of the surgery are going to be intense so I am hesitant about that too.  The Yin and Yang of life.

As I have said before, right now, I am feeling pretty good.  I could manage the rest of my life this way.  Though not without its problems and limitations, I can make it, I've adjusted.  I don't know what the surgery holds and will take away.  Too many ifs.

My only option is to continue on, one step at a time, pulling this wagon with all of you pushing from behind.  That's how I have made it this far.

PCQ

Christmas Sweater

Getting ready for church Sunday morning, I put on my favorite Christmas sweater, combed my hair and went looking for my gloves.  Since, having the chemo and radiation, my little fingers stay ever so cold.  John has been a sweetheart and will hold them and rub them for me when we are out to get better circulation and to just help keep them warm.

As I walked through the kitchen, Bill Geist of CBS Sunday Morning was on.  And he was talking about Christmas sweaters.  To my horror, the whole segment was making 'fun' of Christmas sweaters....just like the one I had on.  Please understand, I know there is a generation difference and most young folks don't wear Christmas sweaters.  I even know my daughter's boyfriend, Jake, hosts an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Party", but that is for really ugly sweaters, not cute ones like mine.

But maybe not!

Bill Geist was interviewing two young men who have a website, www.uglysweaterstore.com.  They peruse second hand clothing stores and buy Christmas sweaters for their website. Said teachers are usually a gold mine for Christmas sweaters.  Their website gives instructions on how to have an Ugly Christmas Sweater party....even offering food suggestions and games to play.

As they were talking, Geist asked what made a truly "good" ugly Christmas sweater?  Bells, bows, sown on beads, dangly things....I looked down at my sweater.  I had all of that, a little bell, nice dangling candy cane, silver and gold bows, shiny beads.  I was horrified, he had just described my really cute Christmas sweater.  I looked at John....he just smiled and said, "It looks cute on you, baby."

I put on my long coat and pulled it tight over my sweater, grabbed my gloves and left for church.  When I got home and took off my sweater and put it on the top shelf in my closet.  Guess I'll never look at it the same way again.

Merry Christmas!
PCQ

Christmas Music

We've had several wind storms recently and that produces a lot of tree limbs.  I try to walk around the yard to pick them up but sometimes they are too big for me to pull to our little fire pit.  John decided it was time to do a burn yesterday.  Any outdoor fire is always a fun event for me.  Something about fire, leaves, cold air and a rake that brings back good memories from my childhood.

I sat outside for a bit with the Christmas tree lights and wreath in the background enjoying the warmth from the fire.  It was nice.

But soon it was time for church.  We were hosting the Sanctuary Hand Bells from Kinston, NC, Gordon Street Christian Church.  Couldn't miss that!  John and I quickly changed and got ready for Christmas music.

We have a beautiful church sanctuary and the bell ringers were grand.  But two rows in front of me was a lady that looked from behind, like my dear friend, Jean Cox, that passed away last year from cancer.  Her hair, her glasses, her shoulders, her mannerisms, even the way her black hair had a little piece on top that stuck up just like Jean's...all made me feel as if my friend was right there in front of me, just waiting for the concert to be over and we would visit.  But I knew that wouldn't be.  So, I decided, she was my angel for the night.  An angel sent to remind me of the season and our love for one another.  A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about how much I miss my dear friend, how much joy she had given me.  There she was and I could almost reach out and touch her.  It wasn't Jean, but Jean was there, listening to the music with me.

PCQ

Visit

It's been a busy week and I am thankful for that.  Time marches slowly when you are facing major surgery in a few weeks.

On Tuesday, three of my managers from work came to visit me.  It was good to catch up on everything.  Plus, they brought me a beautiful rosemary bush and a Christmas card signed by all my buddies at work.  I really miss everyone and will be thankful when I am well and able to return to my job.

My being absent has placed a lot of extra duties on them and I am certainly sorry for that.  But, they told me everyone has stepped up and provided the leadership needed to keep our service level humming along and customers happy. That is a good thing!

Everyone seemed to enjoy being out in the country as they are all city folk.  They were fascinated by my chickens, intrigued by the bottle tree, and a little jealous of all the space we have out here with no neighbors nearby.  All things I take for granted but never the less appreciate.

But soon they had to leave and I was sorry to see them go.  It seems like another life for me at work, as I have been so focused on my situation.

Hopefully, I will be back at work soon....wishing I was at home.

PCQ

Offer I Can't Refuse

Had an appointment today with the reconstructive surgeon. One remaining doctor seat open in my wagon and John and I got him on board today.  


Don't want to go into all he will be charged with doing during my surgery right now, but suffice it to say, he will play a very important part in pasting and putting me back together with the parts and pieces I have left.  We will worry about that tomorrow, as Scarlett O'Hara would say.


I was on the phone with my eighty-nine year old dear friend, Harold, tonight and I told him we went to see the reconstructive surgeon today.  He paused a moment and then said, "Now tell me exactly what he is going to do?"  At that point I told him the doc was going to put me back together and may have to rearrange some parts to do it.  Before I could finish, Harold said,"If there are any of my parts that you need, you are welcome to them, I hope you know that."


Now that is a dear friend....you can't ask for anything more.  Parts is parts, but Harold's parts are special!  Even if they are saturated in red wine and Carolina blue.


Thanks Harold, glad you are in my wagon too!
PCQ

I Went to a Party Last Night!

I went to a party last night.
It was in an old building, that in its heyday, was a car dealership.
John and I held each other close and danced,
With friends all around, toasting good cheer.

I went to a party last night.
It's Christmas and people are celebrating
But I haven't felt like celebrating.
Last night was different.

I went to a party last night.
Determined to leave all thoughts of cancer at home
To have fun, smile at everyone I saw
And enjoy every minute.

I went to a party last night.
Danced really slow to the Righteous Brothers singing, "Unchained Melody",
And watched the red and green lights sparkle and spin on the ceiling
Hoping the song would never end.

I went to a party last night.
Stayed out too late, ate too much, and smiled all the while.
My legs and body were ever so tired,
But what a grand time I had.

I went to a party last night.
It may be my last for a while.
So I didn't forget about 'things'.
But I went to a party last night!

PCQ

Update

Went for a check up today with Dr. Ballenger, my radiologist.  It has been one month since I finished my radiation and chemotherapy. Unfortunately, her waiting room was still full of people needing radiation.

She seemed pleased with my progress.   I certainly am too.  I measure progress by the tasks that I am able to do now, without pain.  I am still weak and takes me longer to do things, but I am improving.

So, here's where we are; still having some pain, but continue to see a reduction in amount of medication needed.

Sleep still sketchy, I don't have any problem going to sleep, it is staying asleep that presents the challenge.  The nerves in my right leg cause me to wake up.  I guess that is due to the growth on the S2 nerve.  The only way I can describe what I feel, I think it is probably like Restless Leg Syndrome.  I can't seem to get my leg in any position that will allow me to keep it still.  I just have to move it.  Doesn't hurt, just can't keep it in one place.  So as not to wake John, I usually get out of bed and walk around, do a few exercises, and hope it goes away.  But it certainly disrupts my sleep patterns.

I still have numbness from the growth and that has not changed.  The area still covers the inside of my right leg front to back and a triangular patch down the inside of my leg almost to the knee.  That has not changed.  My oncologist said some of the feeling there may return, but we can't be sure.

The radiation therapy is still causing pain in my butt.  It is not as red now, but still tender.  But....I can tell you it is NOT anywhere near what it was, burning and stinging has diminished and that is very good.  The radiation also made my insides sore.  That has improved too, but I still am cautious about sitting down quickly, no running/jogging, or fast moves!

Tummy still not happy, but the doctors say that may not change.  Radiation focused on the abdomen damages the lining of the intestines.  Oh well.

Taste has returned.  Smell seems to be back.  But I still can't play the piano!

So, let's look at how far I have come; I can walk without limping, sit down comfortably.  Before, nothing no where, no how, was comfortable and I had to have my "marshmallow cushion" of about 6 inches of foam to sit and sleep.  Pain has been reduced, so less meds, less foggy feeling.

I have an appointment with the reconstructive surgeon on Monday, Dr. Zeri.  The following week, I meet with the lead surgeon, Dr. Brillant, and maybe a surgery date will be given at that time.

So many things going on, but thankfully, I feel better and my ability to enjoy life has improved.  There for a while, there was not much joy in my life.  Am I where I would like to be?  Heck no!  Still tired, weak, and wishing desperately for this cancerous growth to be destroyed with as little long term damage to my body as possible.

But, I continue to focus on the good...no... GREAT things in my life.  How blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband that is constantly monitoring my health, making sure I get my rest, and doing anything he can to make my life better.

And if I could pick anybody in the world that I wanted to help me pull this wagon, he's the one.  As the song goes, "Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you," that's my John, nothing will stop him if he sees something needs to be done for me.

PCQ

Gingerbread House

Every Christmas, we make a gingerbread house.  Think it started when my "party in a box" friend, Kay, made a really fancy one for my girls when they were small and I got the fever.

When my girls were young, we would invite their friends over for a party and a wonderful gingerbread house would be made.  Of course, the kitchen would be sticky for weeks afterwards, but memories were made.

Lauren was home for Thanksgiving, and building a candy house was on my list of "to dos".  Thankfully, she was willing to help me and it turned out great.

Thanks Lauren, you did a grand job building "your Mom's" gingerbread house!

The tradition lives on....

PCQ

It's Christmas - Wreath Party - No Parade - Go ECU

At this time of year, angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.  Today, this was one of my angels!


Every year we have a wreath party on the first Saturday in December, that coincides with the Snow Hill Christmas Parade.  And what a wonderful parade it always is!  Down home floats made by  local churches, community groups, clowns are friends from right down the street, and all the fire engines, pretty girls, and old cars you can count!


The weather didn't cooperate this year and the parade was canceled, but maybe that was a good thing.  ECU was playing in the C-USA finals and I don't think I would have had the power to motivate all the ECU fans to leave such a spectacular game for the Snow Hill parade. There have been challenges in the past and we have made that hurdle.  But this time, it may have been a little too much.  


John and I always have a big Frazier fir and I had worked so hard on Friday to get the lights on ready for my friends to help me decorate on Saturday.  But, when I flipped on the lights Saturday morning, about half of them were not working!  GRRRrrr.. Oh no....and not enough time to take them off and get everything ready for all the people coming for the wreath party.

Thankfully, my best electrician angels came in first and helped me with the tree. God works His miracles in many ways!  The lights were fixed and ready in short order.  My frustration was erased, thanks to Bailey, an electrician, and Beth, his first class helper.  And they both seemed to enjoy the challenge, what sweethearts.

Wreath making, food munching, and ECU football watching went well. John had all the greenery and fixings anyone would need to get their house ready for the holidays.  Plastic was stretched around the porch to protect the wreath makers from wind and rain that was expected that day.  

Wreaths, (about 35 were made and carried away to Asheville, Raleigh, Norfolk, VA, Greenville, Winterville, Walstonburg, and of course Snow Hill) fellowship, food (Harold's great dip, lovingly made cheese straws, Joanie's wonderful chili, boiled shrimp, cookies, fruit, meatballs, dip, toasted pecans...and the list goes on!) and fun...more memories were made. Living and loving, it was all good.

Thanks to my friends for the wonderful food and support.  Special thanks to the "Merry Maids" that took over my kitchen and put away all the food and left everything sparkling and ready for Sunday!  What a blessing.  You ROCK around the Christmas tree!

Merry Christmas to all!


PCQ

Santa

Had dinner at church last night.  Guess who came to see me?  Santa Claus!  I told him I wanted a pony.  He told me to say it really loud so someone else would hear it, so I did.

He was a very nice Santa Claus and told me he had a good feeling about me and just knew I was on his list of "good girls and boys".  Let's hope so.

Merry Christmas...Santa will be here before we know it.

PCQ

Hot Chocolate

Received the following email from an old roommate and dear friend that lives in Atlanta.

"Hope this attachment will go thru… I saw it and thought of you…  from your blog I have learned that you are definitely the Hot Chocolate !!!

Think of you more than you know and wish I could carry some of the load for you..   Although we have not been as close over the years as I would have wished,  you and JQ have never left my thoughts and warm memories …  just wish there were more…  I don’t want to go on wishing that so I will try to be better in the future.  Love..."

Don't have a name to attribute the story, but the attachment with her email was titled: 

The Wisdom in Hot Chocolate

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were discussing their lives at a class reunion.  They decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired, who was always an inspiration to them.

During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work, lives and relationships.

Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups.  Some cups were porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain, some expensive, some exquisite.  He invited each to help themselves to the hot chocolate.  When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor shared his thoughts.  

"Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones."

"While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress."

"The cup that you are drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate.  In most cases it was just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink."

"What each of you really wanted was hot chocolate.  You did not want the cup...but you consciously went for the best cups.  And soon, you began to eye one another's cups.  Now friends, please consider this.  Life is the hot chocolate...your job, money and position in society are the cups.  They are just the tools to hold and contain life.  The cup you have does not define, nor does it change, the quality of life you are living.  Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.  Always remember this...God brews the hot chocolate, He does not choose the cup.  The happiest people don't have the best of everything.  They just make the best of everything that they have!"

"Live simply...

Love generously...

Care deeply...

Speak kindly"...

"Leave the rest to God."

~and remember~

"The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least."

"Enjoy your hot chocolate!"

What a wonderful message from a dear friend!

PCQ

Feeling Better :-)

Feeling much better today.  Whatever brought on the fog and bad feelings has lifted!

Had an appointment with my urologist today.  He's another one of the doctors that will be on call during the surgery, just in case anything needs to be done with my bladder.  Not a fun thing to talk about, but we had to go through the process.

We discussed my situation and he was very positive about how all of this would work.  He told me the S-2 nerve is very important but it can be damaged and still continue to operate necessary equipment.  Our bodies are so resilient!  We talked about how different we all are, but ultimately we all have the same parts.  We can only wish for the best when the growth is removed.  He will conference with Dr. Brillant and work through his part in this operation.

He also did an ultrasound of my abdomen to make sure my water parts are working okay.  Got a OK on all of that for now.  So, looks like we have a urologist in the wagon now.  Getting crowded in here, but that's how parties get started.

PCQ

Not Feeling Well :-(

First day of December, and I don't feel good.  Have some kind of stomach virus and it is really making me tired.  Hopefully, I will feel better soon.

Good news is; Lauren applied for a summer residency in Paris and she just found out she got it!  So, looks like she will be spending the summer in France, viewing art at the Louvre, walking along the Champs Elysees, cruising down the Seine, and of course viewing France from top of the Eiffel Tower!

Maybe, just maybe, she'll let us come visit her.

C'est la vie!

PCQ

Thanksgiving Culinary Workshop

Both of my girls were home for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful.  Lauren came in a day early and her help was welcome.  She is such a joy.  And this turned out to be a great time for her to offer help.  The plan was for my family to come for Thanksgiving lunch.  We had our menu planned and delegated.  I would cook the turkey, dressing and gravy.  They would bring the other dishes.

The day before Thanksgiving, Lauren arrived.  John and I were thrilled to have her home for the holidays.  Once she dropped her bags, we started our preparation for dinner the next day.  The turkey was fresh so we didn't have to worry about thawing.  Gravy would be easy to make once the turkey was cooked, so all we had to do was get the dressing ingredients together.

My mother makes the best dressing in the world, at least I think so.  And obviously, others do too cause we are always asked to bring dressing.

I make my dressing like hers and we never have any left over, so that is a good thing.  Lauren asked if she could help, so I directed her to chop up the onions and celery so we would have that part done and ready for the next day.

Thursday morning, we boiled the eggs.  Now these are not just any eggs, they are free range organic eggs produced by my sweet little chicken, Henny Penny.  Her eggs have really bright orange yolks from the diverse diet she has here on the farm.  We were making two large pans of dressing so we boiled a dozen eggs.  Lauren added the celery and onions she had chopped the night before.

To that we add the Pepperidge Farm Herb dressing.  I use two large bags for Thanksgiving cause we will eat a lot of dressing.

I like to add extra sage and that is usually to taste.

To the mix we add a stick of melted butter, a can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup (undiluted), juice from the turkey that has been cooked and if additional is needed, Swanson's chicken broth.  (I use part of the turkey juice to make the gravy, so that's what prompts the need for extra broth, it takes more broth than you might think.)  The consistency of the dressing should be a little stiff.  We always taste it just to make sure it is right.  With my taste still compromised from chemo and radiation, I was hesitant to be the official taster, so once the dressing was mixed, we let John check it too.  Yum, perfect!

Here Lauren places the mixture into a large pan that has been sprayed with Pam, to be cooked.  It takes about 45 minutes at 400 degrees to cook but that depends on how thick the dressing is and also how much broth was put into the mix.  Sometimes I add a little too much and I have to cook it a little longer.  We like moist dressing and I take it out when it looks like it may need to be cooked a bit longer, but once it is out of the oven, I let it sit for at least 30 minutes and a lot of moisture evaporates during that time and it is just right.

Lauren's first batch of dressing was wonderful, she did a great job. Nothing but praise from the family.  You know your dressing is good when you see someone eating a piece like it is pie!

And there's nothing any more fun for this mother than sharing good times with her beautiful daughter, especially when it allows me to pass on a recipe that she will hopefully someday pass on to her children.

Life and is good.  And so was the dressing.

PCQ

Leap of Faith

Took a big leap of faith today.  So many things could have gone wrong, but they didn't.  John and I haven't really been able to 'live' since I started feeling bad in July.  Today, we did 'live', and it almost made me feel normal and I know John had fun.

As the effects from the chemo and radiation gradually (and I use that term loosely) diminish, I have been able to do more with less pain, or at least manage it better through chemistry, a.k.a. pain medication.  During this, John has been a concern for me, he's not sick, I am.  It is safe for me to be on the sofa wanting to do nothing because of pain or meds.  But John has gladly helped me pull this wagon.  He has done that because of me, doing what is best for me.... and he has never complained.  How thankful I am to have his support and love during this.

Caroline, being a sweetheart during the game.

Last night, after we dropped our daughter, Lauren, at the PGV airport for her flight back to St. Louis, I told John, we should try to get to the ECU football game Saturday.  We haven't been to a single game this year, a very unusual thing for us.  Sometimes, we don't actually 'go' to the game, we just join the tailgate party before or after the game.  We get to see everyone, have fun, toast our friendship, and then back home.

John and I are NC State alum, that is where we met, so ECU has been a thorn in the side, especially since that deadly Atlanta Peach Bowl loss to ECU back in 1991.  Can you believe that still hurts NC State folks and draws a smile to ECU supporters?  Not to mention a few other games that should have been a 'W' in the Wolfpack's history.  Ahhhh....the joys and emotions of college football.

Anyway, I sent a text to my dear friend, Charlie, and he responded right away. "If you come, I'll have tickets for you."  And he did!  What a grand day for football.  The Pirates were playing Southern Miss and they won, in a down to the last play exciting game, pushing the team into first place eastern division champs and will play next Saturday, luckily in Greenville, for the CSA conference championship.  The ECU coach, Skip Holtz, is the son of Lou Holtz, who has coached at many schools, but he was at NC State years ago and I loved him.  He rode out on a white horse during his first game at NCSU.  You remember things like that.

My friend Paula, a.k.a. Watusi, my redheaded girlfriend, cheering for the Pirates!

Back to my original statement about a leap of faith.  Since having radiation and chemo, my tummy parts have not been happy. Leaving home is leaving my comfort zone.  So, to go to the football game today, I couldn't eat anything, had to up my medication and pray.  The leap of faith worked, I leaped and made the cut.

Thanks to my friend Kathy for ferrying us to the game so I didn't have to walk very far.  Thanks Charlie, for tickets right on the 40 yard line in the shade so we didn't have to squint all day, thanks to all my friends for being so kind and offering/providing, cushions, blankets, hand warmers and anything that I may have remotely needed today to enjoy the game.

Just thankful I felt the need to leap and someone was there to catch me.  I am very tired, but it is a good kind of tired.

BTW - The Wolfpack beat our arch rival  the UNC Tarheels (#24) today!  Never know till you play the game.

GO PIRATES!

PCQ

The Clark Wild Bunch + Jay

The Clark wild ones came today.  What a joy it was.  And, they brought Jay, Caroline's little friend with them.  They came in like a dust devil rushing across a dry field.  Couldn't get everything done fast enough.

Leslie said, when they got ready to leave, Caroline was telling her friend, Jay, about coming to the farm to see the horses, chickens, cows, and the jungle.  Actually, it is the forest, but it was a jungle when she told Jay.  Leslie said his little face wrinkled up and he said, "I would like to go to the farm too."  Leslie told him to jump in, more fun to share.  So he did.

Sarah Ruth, the baby, was asleep, and maybe that was a good thing, Jay and Caroline were in full tilt.  Run to see the horses, run to see the chickens, run to see the pond....just run and run.

I had just returned from retrieving Lauren from the airport.  She barely had her bags dropped when the little gang got here.  Wow, forgot how exciting life can be when you are 4 years old and everything is filled with adventure.

Not to worry, adults were close by just in case.

We fed the fish and Caroline and Jay had a contest to see who could count the most fish.

Time to come in.  The fish need to go to sleep.

Could life be any better for these two?

Caroline was concentrating hard to make sure her little gingerbread man was perfect.

Pretty good for 4 year old kids!  These gingerbread men are wonderful, some happy and some sad.

What a fine visit.  Thanks Leslie for sharing all the little ones with us today.

PCQ

Mel's Chocolate Pie

Mel'S CHOCOLATE PIE

Mel called today. Said she had a pie with my name on it.  There are pies and then there is Mel’s chocolate pie.  She brings her pies to our church dinners and I always get a slice before getting anything else. "Eat dessert first," they say, though I don't eat it first, I do make sure I have some cause her pies go fast.


Mel's pie has a luscious chocolate custard resting on a flaky crust, topped with a huge springy meringue.  La pièce de résistance....yum yum.


I can’t remember a period in my life when chocolate pie wasn’t my favorite dessert. My family has always been pie eaters, but we fall into several camps: there are the sweet potato or pumpkin pie enthusiasts, the pecan pie lovers, a few coconuts, and then there are those of us who prefer the chocolate.


So needless to say, when she called I was stoked.  My appetite has not been good since starting the chemo and radiation therapy, but little by little, I feel it is coming back.  The "pie call" really got me excited.


Mel arrived with pie in hand.  She is a beautiful lady who has always been special to John and me.  Her children are about the same age as us, but she and her husband Ben, have always been so kind to our family.


Many years ago, when John was injured in a farm accident, Mel and her husband always checked on us, especially me.  Ben teased me about being John's monkey, in reference to the trained medical monkeys that help people.  John couldn't move for awhile so I tended to his every need, hence, "the monkey" comment.


Ben died a few years ago from a recurrence of his colon cancer.  Mel and I talked about him today and how well he did with his chemo and radiation, but unfortunately, the cancer won.  I miss him.  He was a handsome man with kind blue eyes.  One of my favorite memories of him occurred years ago when we were singing a hymn in church.  He was standing with his daughter Laura, singing and she put her arm through his, they looked at each other and smiled.  There was a lot of love in that smile.  It still brings tears when I think of it, a daddy and his beautiful daughter.


Mel and I chatted for a bit.  She said she didn't want to stay too long and tire me out. I didn't eat a piece of the pie right then, I placed it in a beautiful glass topped cake plate and put it on the counter.  I was going to save it for after dinner and to tease John.


When he got home, he asked me what I had been doing.  I pointed at the pie and said, "I made a pie for you."  He looked at the pie and then looked at me.  "Mel came didn't she?"  So much for that.


Mel was kind enough to share her recipe.  She said she got it from a cookbook she bought from a door to door salesman when she was very young.  Said she paid $4 for the book and her mother thought she was crazy, but it is a wonderful pie.


Thanks Mel for the visit and the pie.




Mel’s chocolate pie 
Filling ingredients:
4 heaping tablespoons of Hershey's cocoa
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1/4 cup of self rising flour
2 cups of milk warmed
4 egg yolks, beaten slightly
1 tablespoon of butter

Meringue ingredients:
4 egg whites
dash of cream of tartar
8 tablespoons of sugar (2 per egg)
1 tablespoon vanilla

Your favorite  pie crust but I like Pillsbury - you can find them in the refrig section

Method:
Sift flour and cocoa, add sugar, eggs and milk (all except butter) with a whisk.
Cook while stirring on medium heat until it bubbles and thickens, about five to 10 minutes. If it becomes lumpy, just beat out the lumps.
Remove from heat and stir in your butter.
Meanwhile, poke holes in your pie crust with a fork so it won't get bulges and bake it at 350 until it’s brown, about 20 minutes.  Let cool a bit.
Beat your room temp egg whites until stiff and peaking and start to add the sugar and cream of tartar.  Continue beating till all mixed
Pour the chocolate custard into the baked pie shell and top with the beaten egg whites.
Bake at 350 degrees or until the peaks on the meringue are lightly browned, about 12 minutes.

Mel says: “It’s real good hot, wonderful cold and you can put it in the microwave for a few seconds just to warm it up.

Thanks Mel!


PCQ

Tony Bennett...I Love You!

This morning, the local Oldies station, asked "Have you ever met a celebrity and if so, who?"

Well, it set my memory in motion.  Several years ago, my husband, had a meeting in Santa Monica, CA.  Daughter Lauren flew out to meet us as she was considering attending UCLA for graduate work at the time and it was a good opportunity for Mom and Dad to see the school where we may be sending money.

We did all the tourist stuff, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood and Vine, Sunset Blvd. (rode right down the street where the Beverly Hillbillies came in), walked (actually went in to use the bathroom) into the hotel where "Pretty Woman" was filmed, rode the freeway O.J. drove his Bronco on, went to the Getty Museum,  put my hands and feet in a bunch of places at Grauman's Chinese Theatre and Hollywood Blvd, walked on the Santa Monica pier at night, joined a drum circle on Venice Beach at sunset,  and just generally enjoyed life!  How could the trip with this much fun be any better?  Just wait.

Our flight out was early that day and we had to be at the LAX airport by 5 a.m.  As we were walking into the terminal, I saw a man in front of us.  Not any man, TONY BENNETT!  I was speechless, and just pointed.  Serendipity!  Lauren and John laughed at me, obviously not understanding the importance of this moment for me.

There were no other people checking, just us, TONY BENNETT, and the screeners.  I moved right up so I was right beside of him, removing my jacket as he was taking off his fine Italian loafers to put them on the scanner. He was looking fine. I was so excited I could barely move. He IS my favorite singer. I just stared at him trying to make eye contact.  Finally, when we sat down beside each other to put our shoes back on....he looked at me and smiled.  Nothing would come out, but finally I was able to squeak out, "I love you!" He just smiled (and I almost melted) and said, "Thank you, you are very kind."

He gathered his belongings and so did we.  Still shaken and weak, with my husband and daughter still giggling at me, we followed him up the stairs to our departing gate.  He continued on in front of us so I "stalked" him to see where he was going. He stopped the gate for NYC.  I kept walking back from our gate to see if he was still there and to just "look at him" reading the newspaper. It was awesome!

My husband and daughter still howl at how adolescent I acted that day, and that I was so overcome by him I forgot to take a picture.  But you know what, those few minutes are etched in my memory bank and all I have to do is hear a few notes from "I Left My Heart in San Francisco," and the thrill of that day comes right back.

John and Lauren still laugh.  But it was Tony Bennett!  What a day!

PCQ

The Cows Were Moved Today

The cows were moved today. They were sold to a man who lives nearby.  Wasn't sure when they would leave but I miss them already.

There's just something comforting about looking across a big green pasture and seeing Black Angus cattle grazing with their babies romping around nearby.  Sometimes when I walk outside, I can hear them lowing.  Their way of calling their babies or letting me know they see me and would like a bucket of corn.

The babies were all born last summer and they have grown pretty fast.  The mama cows are already bred for next year's crop of babies.  The gestation period is a little over 9 months I think, so the next group would be born about the same time.  Always good for babies to be born when it is warm and there's plenty of green grass for mama to graze on.

Our daughters had heifers (young female cows) as a 4-H project when they were younger.  I worried about how they would handle the selling of the animals at the end of the project, but that concern was squashed when I asked Lauren if she knew what would happen to the cows.  She smiled and said, "Mmmm, yummy hamburgers!"

Cattle prices have fallen quite a bit and that is not good if you want to sell cattle, but very nice if you want to buy.  Luckily, we have had good weather and the pasture has managed to keep green grass but that won't last much longer.  Soon, the cold wind and frost of winter will come and the grass will crumble and disappear.  But the cows will still need to eat and fresh hay must be purchased.  You can see why the decision becomes easier to sell the cows now before pouring more money into upkeep.

Winter can be a tough time, water in their trough freezes and must be monitored daily, fences must be checked and repaired, cows get sick...and sometimes cows just decide they want to go on a walking tour of the neighborhood.  We have been lucky with this group, no jail breakers, but some years back a few got out and ventured into the woods and seemed perfectly happy in there.  We worried about them wandering on the highway at night.  Black cows are even blacker at night and unfortunately not smart enough to get out of the way when a car is headed toward them.  We had to hire some cowboys to go in the woods and hustle them out.  Was exciting, but also expensive.

Yep, the cows left today.  Guess when spring comes and the pasture looks really, really, bare, somebody somewhere will have a few black cows that they want to sell.

PCQ

Two Rowboats and a Helicopter

I know most of you have heard this joke before, but please read it again and I will explain why it's in my missive today....


A man was sitting on his front porch when it started to rain. The rain came down harder and harder and the man realized that it was a flood. So the flood waters were rising and when the water started to spill over the porch, a man in a rowboat comes by. And the man in the rowboat says, "Need any help?"

But the man said, "Nope, the Lord'll take care of me!" A few hours later, the man was standing on a chair on his front porch and another rowboat comes by.

And the man yells, "Need any help?"

But the man smiles and says, "Nope, the Lord'll take care of me!"

A few hours later, the waters continue to rise.  The man is now on his roof and a helicopter comes by.  The pilot yells, "Need any help?!"

But the man just says, "Nope! The Lord'll take care of me!"

A few hours later, the flood gets to be too much for the man and he drowns. When he enters Heaven, he asks the Lord, "Lord, why didn't you take care of me?"

The Lord says, " I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter!"

The first time I heard this joke, it was told by Lewis Grizzard, a southern humorist from Atlanta, who was also one of my favorite writers and performers.  He had a down home southern accent and would say, "God talks like me!"  I loved the joke and the "I sent two rowboats and a helicopter" part.  It has been used on many occasions between John and myself and we both knew what it meant.

Had the opportunity to talk with my pastor, Martin, today.  I was catching him up on my medical situation and some other projects I am involved with at church.  Martin is a very kind and gentle man and  when he came to our church, I instantly felt as if I already knew him.  It wasn't until later when I was watching TV and "M*A*S*H" was on, that I realized his mannerisms reminded me of Father Mulcahy, a principal character on the long running show.  I know Martin reads my blog so I do hope he is flattered by the comparison.  It is certainly intended as such.

But anyway, we talked about support from family and friends and how God's love comes to us through our family, friends and church when we are in need.  I told him some friends had called to check on me.  It was just after getting home from the doctor on Wednesday, and I was still overwhelmed by all the doctor had told me to prepare for.  I couldn't even talk to them...in a teary voice, I told them I would have to call them back.  I looked at Martin and said, "guess they were my two rowboats and helicopter, huh?"

He nodded and told me I need to share my load.  "Your friends want to help," he said.  And I know he is right, but sometimes it is hard to tell people you love difficult things.  If I keep it to myself then I can control some of the hurt and worry, my way of protecting those I love.  But I know, as one of my emails stated, they want so much to help me pull my wagon.

And yes, I will use my rowboats and helicopter and know they were sent with lots of love.  Think I hear one coming now!

PCQ

To Be Continued.....

Been a very long and tiring day.  I was in Dr. Brillant's office well over 2 hours.  The complexity of my surgery requires we bring in two more doctors, so appointments were made and the plan has been set in motion.  Don't know when surgery will be scheduled.  All the doctors must be coordinated and with 5+ doctors involved, and the holidays upon us, it is a monumental task for the scheduler.  "Your people call my people and then my people will get back with you."

Prefer not to go into details tonight.  Plenty of time for that.  Still focusing on all the positives and trying not to dwell on any negatives, but it is hard.....really, really, hard.  They just keep putting too many rocks in my wagon!

To be continued....
PCQ

Big Day

Wednesday could prove to be a big day.  I have an appointment with Dr. Brillant,  the lead surgeon for my upcoming procedure.  On one hand I am hoping to get a date on the calendar so I can get my mind around the timeline for this.  But, on the other hand, given the complexity and serious risks involved with the surgery, I'm afraid too.

Right now, I have physical challenges, but I can handle them.  That may sound strange given the list of problems I have.  But...I don't know what the future holds and the doctors have not held back with their warnings and concerns about this surgery.

But I don't have a choice, the tumor is still lurking there on my sciatic nerve and spine, a parasite sucking its life blood from me.  Yes, it's been beaten down temporarily by the chemo and radiation treatments, but at some point just like me, the growth will recover from all it has endured the past two months, shake the dust off and start growing again.

Yes, tomorrow is a big day, but I'll keep pulling my wagon.

PCQ

PCQ Movie Review

Being at home has allowed me to catch up on my reading and movie watching.  My friend Kay was here last week and we decided to watch a movie.  It was cold, rainy and windy, so it seemed like a good idea.  Get out the fuzzy blankets, popcorn and relax.  We watched "The Proposal", and fixed our own popcorn.  So glad we didn't have to pay movie house prices for that flick, wasn't worth the time to drive to the theatre!


Sunday night, John and I watched "Bride Wars".  Basically, a chick flick but I enjoyed it.  John didn't. You would have thought I was poking a sharp stick in his eye the way he carried on.


"Nights in Rodanthe", was our next watch.  I enjoyed it, (John didn't) though it did take a bit to become in engaged with the characters. (Except for Richard Gere...enjoy watching him...he is almost as handsome as my husband!) Guess they finally got me engaged cause I did shed a few tears at the end.  Scenery of the NC coast was great and it was ironic that we watched the movie at the same time the house on the Outer Banks in Rodanthe used for the film was surrounded by an angry ocean and being ravaged by the nor' easter off our coast. 


DVR "Marley and Me" last night.  Hopefully, we can watch that soon.  I will probably get a kick out of another dog besides Nick that chewed his way to fame.  


Not many 'thumbs up' on the movies. Hollywood...are you listening? Maybe better luck next time.


PCQ

My Friend has Gone!

My friend, Kay, left on Friday.  Headed back to Virginia to her family.  Daughter Mary, was flying in from NYC with husband in tow.  Other friends coming and all gathering for the Univ. of VA football game.

Kay had ordered six dozen tiny biscuits to take with her from Strickland Dail, a local eatery that is divine!  By the way, there is an article on them in the new issue of "The State" magazine.  Check it out!  She was going to cook up country ham and use the biscuits as treats for the pre game festivities.  If you have ever had those tiny biscuits from Strickland-Dail's, then your mouth is probably watering right now and you are wishing you had a few to pop right in.  She took a large tin of the Ginger Crinkles we made too.

But now she's gone....leaving behind a tired but happy friend.  She gave me the most important thing she had to offer, her time, and wow.... did we use it well!

PCQ

P.O.E.T.S. - 359

P.O.E.T.S. Investment met Tuesday night at Paula's house.  My friend, Kay, had arrived so we drove over in the rain and remnants of Hurricane Ida.  We were the first to arrive but Paula was ready.  Soon, the others came and we had a grand time.

We sat outside on the porch, comfortably in the middle of November I might add, catching up and enjoying the sound of the gentle rain.  Paula has a wonderful outdoor area to entertain and we used it well.  So much talking and laughing, it was hard to follow all the conversations.

My friends never cease to amaze!  Karen brought out a bucket filled with sand and shells from Ocracoke Island.  She wanted us to "dig" for island treasures.  We all took turns and found the "treasures" she had hidden.

Paula found an OINC (Ocracoke Island, NC) sticker.  Ocracoke holds a special place in our hearts and always will.  Our friend and POETS partner Jean, who passed away in 2008 was from the island and we have used it as a retreat destination for over 10 years to plan our investment strategies....but mostly to have fun.

There was one final treasure.  Karen had purchased a small vial with Ocracoke Island on the side.  She asked that each of us dip into the bucket of Ocracoke sand and fill it up.  Once filled, she presented it to me with these words, "When you go to the hospital for your surgery or anytime you feel sad, just look at this sand and remember the friends you have and the wonderful times we have had on our special island."

Showing off our treasures!

Another special time with my special friends!

PCQ