My Doctors Are Going to Try To Poison Me

I got a call Monday night from the pharmacy that will be sending out my chemo pills. We waded through all the necessary paperwork that had to be done and he told me the medicine would arrive on Thursday. Don't know if you have a lot of information on chemotherapy, but basically, the doctor is going to poison you.....just enough to hopefully kill cancer cells and leave you alive. That's the plan. But apparently, it is a very thin line to walk.

From talking to other people who have taken the pills, it can make life difficult. As if it wasn't difficult enough with the radiation treatment frying my innards everyday. I try to imagine all sorts of things happening when the giant machine zaps my abdomen. Today, I imagined it being like one of those games at the State Fair. The one where you shoot a water pistol at the clown's mouth and if you do it just right it makes a balloon blow up and pop. At at the end of each zap, I would see the balloon pop and I would smile, hopefully another cancer colony BUSTED! But how do I know. I don't and I won't for a while longer.

You sort of get used to feeling bad and now the pills. One person told me they made her stomach queasy and she couldn't eat anything cold. It affects everyone differently so I guess I will just have to wait and see.

The radiation has affected my tummy. In trying to kill the cancer cells, it damages the villi in the intestines and apparently they are very important in absorbing nutrients. So far it hasn't been too bad, I have followed the list of "low residue" foods that are good foods (bland) and tried to stay away from the more harsh foods (good greasy spicy stuff) that may cause problems. Weight loss, which has never been something I had to worry about....just looking at food could cause me to pack on 5 lbs., is now a concern. If I lose too much weight they will have to stop the radiation treatments so my body can recover. I told you they are trying to kill me!

But rest assured, I am not at the top of the list for Biggest Loser yet. Those old fat cells have been able to eke by on the little morsels they are getting. But tomorrow, the pills arrive. And I will put them in my wagon and continue to pull.

PCQ